"Two valid ID's"

I have come to detest the phrase above. Every single time it appears, it bodes of long lines amidst sweaty people under the sweltering summer sun, or during such humid drizzly days that even my eyebrows seem to want to frizz up. And that's not the worst part. I'd then have to deal with government people, who seem to think they're doing people a favor by doing their job. They never arrive on time, and when they do, they engage in such endless chitchat, work for two hours, leave for lunchbreak at 11, sleep, resume work around 1:30, and start packing up and doing their makeup by 4. What the hell?!! It kinda begs the question that in order to get one valid ID, you need two valid ID's. Duh. I now see the wisdom behind a national ID system, which, although it has its obvious dangers, would also make life a whole lot less complicated. Right now, the only thing I've ticked off my list is my NBI clearance, and it took me EEEEEEEEEEEEEONS to get it, as apparently, there is more than one person with my name (sans middle name) in this country, and that NBI bitch clerk would not hear of my suggestion to check the middle names of my namesakes, as I sincerely doubt if there is anybody with the same middle name and born to parents with the same names as MY parents. I'm sooooooooooooo dreading the whole SSS ID process and passport processing thing tomorrow. Not only do I have to take time off from work only to find myself trapped in government hell to apply for these valid ID's, I furthermore have to take more time off from work to claim them. It's madness, I tell you. I hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it.

Diary of Inday

Diary of Inday
It was jazz an ordinary day.
The skies were clear, the birds were
chipping. Ang ganda-ganda ng araw!
Nasa SM ako noon at katatapos ko lang
mamili ng groceries. Timing
naman nasa foodcore si Angel Locsin,
nagpro-provoke ng movie nya.
Grabe, andaming fans, pull-packed
talaga! Dahil fans nya rin ako,
nakipila rin ako.
Then suddenly, out of the loo, may
bumulong sa akin
ng: "Indaaaayyyy. ....."
Huh? It sounded like a familiar sound.
Who can it be now?
"Dodong!" sigaw ko.
Napalakas yata voice ko. Kasi the
other fans turned their backs to
their behind at napatingin sa amin.
Sabi ko "Sorry, I didn't mean to
be loud and proud." Hinawakan na lang
ni Dodong ang kamay ko at lumayo
kami from the crowd.
"Kamusta na Inday? Do you come here
open? tanong nya.
"Bihira lang, Dodong. I'm just
droppings by. Ethnic and schedule ko
eh" sabi ko.
Memories came flushing in my mind. How
can I forget to remember
Dodong? Siya na may mata ni Piolo,
dimple ni Aga, at bigote ni Rex
Cortez. he's every woman's dreamboat.
I was just starting my tour of
duty kay ate noon nang unang makilala
ko si Dodong. Contraction worker
siya sa ginagawang bahay sa tapat
namin. Naging kami for a while then
after that were not an item anymore.
"Tanghali na Inday. What did you say
we have lunch together?" tanong
ni Dodong. "I don't mine" sagot ko.
Sa restaurant, nilapitan kaagad kami
ng waiter. "What's your odor
sir?" sabi nung waiter kay Dodong.
"Do you have porkshop?" tanong ni
Dodong.
"Yes sir" sabi nito. "Our porkshop
with a resistance to the teeth of
boast of our chef. Domestic careful
selection of pork with little fat
of female liking is used. The
exquisite cooking which repeated trial
and error and was completed. it also
has healthy vegetables with salad
feeling fully" dagdag niya.
"And you mam?" sabay tingin naman sa
akin.
Hmmm... mukhang masarap yung porkshop.
Pero I'm cutting down on my
carbon kaya pinigilan ko.
"I'll just have water, thanks.
Liquidate diet ako eh." sagot ko.
Pagkatapos kumain, nagyaya si Dodong
manood ng sine. Teka teka, this
is going too far. Besides, it's a
long, long way to run.
"Reality chess, Dodong. May asawa na
ako, si Jay. As a mother of fact,
I'm happily married" pagmamalaki ko.
"Di na pwede yung tulad ng dati. Sorry
pero I didn't expect you still
have more feelings than I expected. i
don't want you getting the way.
Past is fast. Therefore, cause and
defect." dagdag ko pa.
Tumahimik sya. Parang may language
barrel na namagitan sa amin. The
seconds that passed seemed like
fraternity. Di nagla-on, nagsalita na
rin sya.
"I don't care less!" sigaw ni Dodong.
Shocks, give me a brake! The nerd ng
taong ito para sigawan ako! To
think it's his other woman that caused
our separation to part.
Kinabahan na ako. I felt speedbumps
all over my body and was having
panic attach. Tinalikuran ko siya at
nagmadali akong lumakad palayo.
Pero sumunod pa rin siya like a monkey
on my butt. Hanggang sa
makakita ako ng security guard.
Biglang nawala si Dodong.
"Excuse me kuya, pwedeng magtanong?"
sabi ko sa mamang guard.
"Of course miss, I can help you with
my pleasure." sagot niya.
"Saan po ba ang exit? Could you point
me to the right erection? I got lost
in my eyes."
"Diretso lang." sabi niya. "Then turn
right anytime with care."
"Thanks for your corporation" sabi ko.
Buti na lang nandun si kuya. Pero
saglit lang, I smell something
peachy. As I turned, nakita ko na
namang nakasunod si Dodong! Delaying
static lang pala kanina ang pag
disappear nya.
"Nyahahaha! You can run but you can
hide, Inday. No matter where you
go, there you are!" pananakot nya.
Oh no, is this the end? This is too
much, I feel degradable. My world
started falling afar.
Then suddenly, Jay come from behind!
Dodong was caught to the act! In
the matter of minute, it's all over.
I'm out of arm's way.
"Thanks Jay, my love. But how did
you?" bago pa man ako matapos, sabi
niya:
"I was in the neighborhood. Fans din
ako ni Angel eh. I heard you
shout but at first I didn't give it a
thought. Pero nang makita ko
kayong magkahawak ng holding hands,
then i give it a thought. I know
something is a missed."
From then on, Dodong did not brother
me again. In fact, he didn't even
sister me. As in platonic at wala na
talaga.
Pero kami ni Jay, heto, shoot sailing
pa rin ang relationship. Lalo pa
ngayon, open na kami sa isa't-isa at
walang exhibitions. i feel I'm on
cloud.

Handwriting analysis

http://www.handwritingwizard.com/
Welcome Grace, here is your handwriting analysis.

Grace uses judgment to make decisions. She is ruled by her head, not her heart. She is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see her as unemotional. She does have emotions but has no need to express them. She is withdrawn into herself and enjoys being alone.
The circumstances when Grace does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets her mad enough to tell her off, she will not be sorry about it later. She puts a mark in her mind when someone angers her. She keeps track of these marks and when she hits that last mark she will let them know they have gone too far. She is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All her conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. She is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, she has poise.
Grace will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. She would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, she will show her love by the things she does rather than by the things she says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because she feels her mate should already know. The only exception to this is if she has logically concluded that it is best for her mate to hear her express her love verbally.
Grace is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to her, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of her sound judgment. She will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. She will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and she will always ask "Is this best for me?"
People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Grace doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.
Grace is sensitive to criticism about her ideas and philosophies. She will sometimes worry what people will think if she tells them what she believes in. This doesn't mean she won't talk, or that she feels ashamed. It merely means she is sensitive to what others think, regarding her beliefs.
Grace will be candid and direct when expressing her opinion. She will tell them what she thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want her opinion, don't ask for it!
In reference to Grace's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Grace slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project.
She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Grace can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.
Grace is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts. she finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Grace basically feels good about herself. She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success. She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to. However, she sets her goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, her self-perception is better than average.
Grace is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect her ego when she feels hurt. She pokes people harder than she gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.
Grace has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. She lets new people into her circle of friends. She uses her imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.
For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Grace has left lots of white space on the left side of the paper. Grace fills up the rest of the page in a normal fashion. If this is true, then Grace has a healthy relationship to the past and is ready to move on. The right side of the page represents the future and Grace is ready and willing to get started living now and planning for the future. Grace would like to leave the past behind and move on.

Stolen from Troy

If you read this journal, even if I don't speak to you often, post a memory of me.

It can be anything you want. It can be good or bad, just so long as it happened. Then post this on your journal.

Be surprised and see what people remember about you.

Calling cards!!! Yipee!!!

Okay, call it juvenile and stupid, but I've always wanted my own calling cards. I used to scratch my dad's name off his (well, I blacked his name out...) and pretend they were mine. I was five. And the only people I gave them out to were my kiddie friends. It was so hilarious my dad didn't even get mad when he found out why he suddenly found why a quarter of his new box of calling cards was missing. And now I have my own. Sigh... My only beef with our calling cards is that they don't state what we are exactly. Maybe I'll give them out and scribble "Janitress" or "Security guard" or "Waste of office space" under my name. Hehe! Oh, ORRRRR I'll write..."GODDESS". Wahahaha! Well, for whatever it's worth, yipee!

Help!!!

Hey boys and girls. Here's a dilemma for you. Find (or suggest where I can or should buy) a laptop (not a Mac though... office network crap...) following the following basic specs:

Php60,000.00 max (or maybe Php65,000.00)

14-15" matte display

Intel Core 2 Duo processor

2.0Gb DDR-II 667 MHz

120+ Gb hard drive

built-in webcam

fingerprint reader

2 fans (for Toshiba laptops)

bluetooth and infrared enabled

LAN/Wifi ready

Windows XP (office network crap)

Upgradeable

Preferably with freebies

Good speakers

At least 2 USB ports

Anything over and above these specs would be awesome. Oh, and I'd prefer a pretty purrty laptop. Please note that the Acer Ferrari laptop classifies as pretty purrty by my standards. Basta it shouldn't look like crap.

Ohmigod. The nerve!

Grabe, this guy just doesn't know when to stop. This is preposterous.

http://thepunziblog.blogspot.com/2008/04/what-little-research-can-do.html#comments

Thank God for honest people.

Last Sunday (April 6, 2008), at about 4:45pm, I used the atm machine outside the BDO SM City Baguio Branch. However, I was not able to withdraw. The screen read “Transaction Cancelled”. I waited for the machine to eject my atm card then walked away with my aunt and uncle. We were no more than a few meters away from the atm machine when a man in a white shirt and jeans ran up to us and asked me whether I was the last person to use the atm. I said yes. He asked me how much I was trying to withdraw, I said three thousand pesos. He told me that after I had left, the machine coughed up the money I was trying to withdraw. He showed us his ID, hidden under his shirt, and told us that he was a spotter. After a moment of shock, I thanked him profusely, and so did my aunt and uncle. I checked my bank balance right after the incident just to make sure the money was indeed mine. It was.

I cannot remember his face nor his name. I cannot even remember whether he was an SM employee or a BDO employee. I was so taken aback by what had just happened. I thought to myself, if this had happened in Manila, I would have lost the money. I am not a rich person by any standard, so three thousand pesos means something, though not everything to me. I would not have wept, but I would have been very annoyed by the thought that I could have spent the money on something worthwhile.

The man was probably just doing his job, but I would like to commend him and to thank him just the same. I also would like to laud the efforts of the BDO SM City Baguio Branch for a job well done.

Sir Te's response to the Punzi person

Chronology of events:

(1) Punzi person posts:

http://209.85.175.104/search?q=cache:J-0J6QJVW04J:thepunziblog.blogspot.com/+http://thepunziblog.blogspot.com/&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=ph

(2) Punzi person, because of what I can only imagine to be something close to a severe beating, takes down the post and says:

http://thepunziblog.blogspot.com/2008/04/precautionary-measures-part-deux.html

(3) Reactions from people: see Jam's, Malou's and Emman's blogs among others

(4) Affirmation.

http://tedte.blogspot.com/2008/04/intergenerational-courtesy-and-hubris.html

Siyempre na-teary eyed naman ako. Hehe! Di nga, natouch naman ako dito. Basta we passed na, wala nang bawian, whatever anybody says.

Goodbye ACP. Hello CPG. Well, almost.

http://www.gmanews.tv/story/87414/Family-Code-amendment-passed-in-silence-may-disadvantage-women/_/1/

Family Code amendment passed in silence, may disadvantage women

AR SABANGAN, GMANews.TV

04/02/2008 | 10:31 PM

MANILA, Philippines - Lovers are supposed to share "one body, one heart, one soul" — and whatever wealth they acquire before getting married. Some lawmakers, however, seem to believe in sharing only the body, the heart and the soul — not the wealth.

At the House of Representatives, lawmakers are preparing a measure that would dissolve a law that mandates a husband or a wife to share his or her wealth to his or her partner. The proposed measure would allow a spouse to keep what he or she reaped before saying "I do."

House Bill 2420 or the Act Amending Article 75 of the Family Code of the Philippines was passed unnoticed, like most measures changing the names of streets and schools.

On February 5, 2008, the day before the ouster of Jose de Venecia Jr as Speaker, lawmakers passed the measure. "We had two to three committee hearings before it was approved, and nobody opposed its passage," said Cebu Representative Pablo Garcia, the bill's author.

HB 2420 was a two-page, seemingly harmless, proposal. "We're just going back to our tradition on property relations in marriage," Garcia said.

The lawmaker proposed to revert to the "conjugal partnership of gains" system that ruled the lives of married couples before 1988. Under the set-up, a spouse has no right over the property that his or her partner obtained prior to the wedding. He or she is only entitled to the assets that his or her partner acquired since the start of the marriage.

For example, if Juan inherited a 100-hectare land from his parents before getting married to Maria, Maria would have no right over Juan's landholding. If Maria bought a car or a house before getting married to Juan, Juan would have no right over these, too.

The set-up was changed to the "system of absolute community of property relations in marriage" when the Family Code took effect on August 3, 1988. The "rule on absolute community" entitles the spouse to equal rights over the property acquired by the husband or the wife before and during the marriage.

Former Chief Justice Artemio Panganiban described the "absolute community regime" as the "marital ring" of legal sharing.

Panganiban, in a newspaper article, said: "Unless – prior to the wedding – the parties enter into a written marriage settlement, the absolute community regime takes effect immediately, even if the titles to the assets are registered in the name of one spouse only."

"Accordingly, land, condominiums, cars, computers, and jewelry of each of the spouses automatically become communal...Neither spouse may sell, mortgage, or give away any communal asset without the consent of the other," he added.

Garcia, however, said the absolute community regime defies "the long accepted system of conjugal partnership of gains."

Prior to the Family Code, a spouse had no right over the property that his or her partner acquired before marriage. The Spanish Civil Code, which was enforced from 1889 to 1950, and the new Civil Code, which was in effect from 1950 to 1986, both mandated the conjugal partnership of gains.

Garcia also said he favors the retention of a spouse's exclusive rights because it is consistent with the law of succession.

"When property is inherited from a descendant, that asset is reserved for the family of the propertied spouse," the lawmaker said. "Under the absolute community rule, the property line between a child and his or her parents is cut once that child marries," he added.

Removing the spouse's right over the property that his or her partner acquired before marriage is allowed through a prenuptial agreement. But Garcia said it is still "not acceptable" for most Filipinos.

Garcia filed the bill on September 4. It was referred to the House Committee on Revision of Laws on September 17. Garcia heads the committee. On December 18, HB 2420 was approved on second reading. On February 5, the House passed the bill on third and final reading. On February 11, the proposed legislation was transmitted to the Senate.

HB 2420, a measure that could affect the lives of 26.1 million married Filipinos, was passed and approved without a noise, except that which came from a retired judge.

Divorce Magazine.com listed countries where percentage of divorce is high.

Sweden	54.9%
Belarus	52.9%
Finland -	51.2%
Luxembourg	47.4%
Estonia	46.7%
Australia	46%
United States	45.8%
Denmark	44.5%
Belgium	44%
Austria	43.4%
Czech Republic	43.3%
Russia	43.3%
United Kingdom	42.6%
Norway	40.4%
Ukraine	40%

Jesus Quitain, former judge of the Regional Trial Court in Davao City, warned that the measure would be against the interest of women. He posits that in a situation that a wife is less propertied compared to a wealthy, womanizing, wife-beating, drunkard husband, the woman would be at the losing end in case the marriage is annulled or the couple separate.

The former judge said Article 75 of the Family Code is a triumph for wives, because the law had somehow discouraged husbands to fool around.

"With this law, the wealthy spouse, usually a spoiled husband, might be stopped from having mistresses, gambling, drugs, and the like, although he can afford it. This is because when the wife files a case and there is a division of assets, the wealthy spoiled spouse responsible for the breakup will lose part of the property he owned before marriage," he said.

Too simplistic

A professor of Family Laws at the Manuel L. Quezon University said tradition cannot be used as basis for legislation, especially if it no longer mirrors the present makeup and needs of society.

Lawyer Florisa Almodiel said using tradition as basis for crafting HB 2420 "is too simplistic."

She said: "We can't use the argument that we should go back to conjugal partnership of gains just because this was the practice since the Spanish time."

"Power relations between couples have already evolved. Yesterday's groom and bride are no longer today's husband and wife," said Almodiel.

She said questions like "What is the present makeup of families? Who is the more economically-empowered or the more-disadvantaged spouse? What is the economic impact of marriage dissolution on the wife, on the husband, and on their children? Who will gain and who will lose if property relation reverts back to conjugal partnership of gains?" must be considered.

Almodiel said that while Quitain's stereotyping of wives and husbands could explain inequity, it is inadequate to gauge the likely impact of changes in property relations of couples who do not fall under the rich husband-poor wife partnership.

"It only applies to one kind of situation. There are many other scenarios," she said. She cited cases when a wife is the hardworking and propertied spouse, and the husband is the bum or philanderer or both. "Would it be fair if the erring husband gets an equal share of the properties that were single-handedly raised by the wife?"

There are also cases when a wife's contribution to the family's resources is undervalued, if not deemed unimportant because its constitutes unpaid labor.

"She does not earn and may not have her own property. But childbearing and homemaking – cooking, washing clothes and dishes, cleaning the house, raising children – are part of her chores. The economic value of the wife's multiple roles in the household must be recognized and included in the equation on proposed changes in marital property relations," said Almodiel.

While there might be a need to amend the Family Code, lawmakers must first get into the heart of the problem on marital power relations, according to Almodiel.

"Issues on property relations in marriage shouldn't just be limited to a debate on whether we should retain absolute community or go back to conjugal partnership of gains," she said, adding that it may not even be the real issue that must be addressed.

"Laws solve conflicts. But we should know first what are the conflicts before we address them through laws," she said.

Economic impact

Even in advanced economies, power relations are heavily tilted toward men. Major studies show that in these countries, dissolution of marriage often results in the economic deprivation of wives, and the improved economic status of husbands.

Sociologists Saul Hoffman and Greg Duncan concluded in their 1988 study that in the US, the standard of living of the custodial mother and her children were reduced by 30 percent on the average, while that of the noncustodial father increased to about 15 percent.

In another study in 1994, American scholars Jay Teachman and Kathleen Paasch pointed out that even when employment rates among custodial mothers increased after divorce - from 58 to more than 70 percent - this did not necessarily improve their economic status.

The study shows that while the divorced wife's "first response to economic stress" was to enter into the labor force, the average amount she earns, which comprises 60 percent of the single-parent family income, "declined from immediately before to immediately after (marriage) disruption."

Teachman and Paasch attributed the decline to either low-paying or "less than full-time" jobs available to divorced wives.

In 2005, sociologists Dorien Manting and Anne Marthe Bouman of The Netherlands said the result of their study on the economic impact of marriage dissolution on Dutch women was "consistent" with the findings in other countries such as the US, Great Britain, Germany and Canada.

They said "women experience a large financial setback, whereas men even seem to gain financially from divorce."

Manting and Bouman said that while more Dutch women joined the labor force after marriage dissolution, "this does not really mean that (they) gain enough to become economically independent of their spouses."

Why not? Because according to the study, most of these women, who are responsible for taking care of children, could only work part-time. And even when they work full time, they get paid less than men.

Economic subordination

In the Philippines, no comprehensive study has yet been done on the economic impact of marriage dissolution on wives, particularly on those who also act as custodial parents.

Most studies and surveys on women deal on their participation in the labor force, while a few, and still germinal studies focus on their increasing role as heads of households in urban areas, and the prevalence of female unpaid family workers in rural areas.

Nevertheless, it could be inferred from these studies and surveys that while some female professionals in urban areas are now more economically competitive than their male counterparts, majority of women remain in economically subordinate positions, whether in the house where they render unpaid labor, or at the workplace where most of them are low-paid wage earners.

For instance, a report presented by the NSCB during the December 2007 Global Forum in Gender Statistics in Rome, showed that economic power remained in the hands of men.

The NSCB report said that in 2005, employment rate for men was at 74 percent, while that of women only stood at 46 percent.

A separate survey by the National Statistics Office in 2004 showed that for 10 years, since 1995, labor force participation by females (50 percent) consistently lagged behind that of males (over 80 percent).

Even in the government's supposed equitable distribution of economic resources under the Comprehensive Agrarian Reform Program (CARP), peasant women still suffer from inequality.

Data culled by GMANews.TV from the Department of Agrarian Reform showed that the government failed to equitably distribute farmlands to male and female CARP beneficiaries.

From 2002 to 2004, only 506,571 female CARP beneficiaries, representing 27 percent of the total beneficiaries, were awarded their emancipation patents and certificates of landownership award. The bulk of the EP and CLOA was awarded to 1,338,701 male tillers or 73 percent of the beneficiaries.

In terms of percentage, gender inequality in the CARP's EP and CLOA distribution was most pronounced in the Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao. Of the 9,542 beneficiaries, only 15.5 percent were women, the rest, 84.5 percent, were men.

Second to ARMM was Region 2 in Cagayan Valley. Of the 159,118 beneficiaries, only 17.2 percent were women, while 82.8 were men. Third was Region 3 or in Central Luzon, where only 21 percent of the 227,648 beneficiaries were women, and the rest, 79 percent, were men.

Economic undercount

Just how poor and disadvantaged are women in the Philippines? How much is their real contribution to the economy when they work in and outside of the household, whether paid, underpaid or unpaid? What is the economic status of female and male-headed households (single, widowed, separated or annulled) in urban, rural, and regional areas?

These could be some of the vital questions that need answers before deciding on the fate of HB 2420. However, lack of comprehensive gender, sex-disaggregated, sector-specific, and socioeconomic class-based statistics has failed to define women's problems.

This, according to many cause-oriented organizations has led the government to sidestep issues on women in many of its reform policies, and thus fail to address the interest of the sector. Similar to this concern is the issue earlier raised by Almodiel on HB 2420 that was apparently approved without being backed by an impact assessment based on sound socio-economic and legal research.

In its 2007 report presented in a global forum in Rome, NSCB recognized the need to improve generation and analysis of gender statistics. It said the "economic undercount of women puts them in a situation that can perpetuate, if not outright worsen the inequity between men and women."

The National Commission on the Role of Filipino Women also saw the need for accurate gender statistics essential in the implementation of government policies on women, and in meeting the United Nation's Millennium Development Goals by 2015.

Goal 3 of the MDG is on promoting gender equality and empowering women.

NCRFW chairperson Myrna T. Yao said the consciousness of data producers and users of gender statistics must be raised, while decision-makers must be influenced "to think and act for women."

Also, the UN's Food and Agriculture Organization emphasized the need for policy-makers and planners in the Philippines to address the plight of women by mainstreaming gender concerns. The FAO said policy makers could start by collecting sex-disaggregated local data, particularly on agriculture, environment, and rural production.

With this backdrop on women's issues and lopsided power relations between men and women, passing HB 2420 into law might be a classic case of putting the cart before the horse. - GMANews.TV

Sidebar articles:

MORE FILIPINOS WANT TO END MARRIAGE

Filipinos, most, if not all of them Catholics who are supposed to be monogamous and loyal to their partners, are trooping to the courts to file cases of annulment or legal separation.

In 2007, there were 7,753 cases of annulment and legal separation filed at the Office of the Solicitor General, a 71.5 percent jump from the 4,520 cases filed in 2001.

From 2001 to 2007, the OSG received 43,617 cases of annulment and separation. The figure could have been higher if more married people have the means to break their ties legally.

Based on the 2000 Census of Population and Housing, of the 57.1 million Filipinos aged ten years and over, one percent or 558,023 were either divorced or separated; 2.4 million or 4.3 percent were in live-in arrangements; 4.1 percent or 2.4 million were widowed; 45.7 percent or 26.1 million were married; and 44 percent were single.

According to the 2002 Young Adult Fertility and Sexuality Study, 40 percent of the youth would support a bill to legalize divorce in the country.

The Philippines and Malta are the only remaining countries in the world where divorce is banned. - ARCS, GMANews.TV

THE INVISIBLE WOMEN

You see them work hard, but you don't know the real worth of their labor. Feminist theorists call them invisible women — those whose fruits of labor are unpaid and excluded from the computation of a country's gross domestic product and gross national product.

Feminist economist Marilyn Waring of New Zealand criticized the use of GNP and GDP as economic indicators, which were institutionalized through the UN System of National Accounts.

She said the GNP and the GDP excluded women's work (other unpaid work and things that have only use-value and not exchange value) in measures of economic progress.

The UN Platform for Action Committee Monitoba gives examples on how the UNSNA unfairly values work, activities, and resources:

Things of economic value: Women's bodies when used in media advertising; trees that are cut down; the tobacco industry; arms and missile production; the weight loss industry; crime, the court system, and imprisonment; prostitution; illness, clinics, and hospitals; death and the funeral business; rebuilding countries after natural disasters or terrorist attacks; war; and oil spills.

Things without economic value: A mother's contribution to the birthing process; caring for own children; doing own dishes and laundry; hunting, vegetables grown in own garden and eaten by family; hunting, fishing, and trapping own food; beauty (except if it's for sale in an art piece); health; rivers and forests (when they're not being harnessed for economic gain).

In a study presented in the December 2007 Global Forum on Gender Statistics in Italy, the National Statistical Coordination Board (NSCB) said unpaid work adds 66.2 percent in the Philippines' GDP. It also said that 59.6 percent of the total hours of unpaid work are done by women.

In another study, NSCB secretary general Romulo A. Virola cited results of time-use surveys from 1979 to 2000 showing that "women's unpaid housework is greater than men."

In the 1979 time-use survey, it was found out that single women performed unpaid work of 3.04 hours per day or almost twice as long as the unpaid 1.71 hours done by their male counterparts.

The 1979 survey said married women were in a "more disparate" situation. Their daily unpaid work of 7.93 hours was thrice as much as the 2.63 hours of unpaid work by their male counterparts.

The gap in unpaid work between women and men became wider in the 1985 to 1990 survey. Women's unpaid work of 6.57 hours per day was almost four times longer than men's 1.87 hours.

Virola said there was an "observed improvement" in the 2000 survey "when the ratio of unpaid work of women to men went below two hours." - ARCS, GMANews.TV

Belated bar thank you list

It's been five days since the results were released. Oath taking is set on the 29th, signing of the roll of attorneys on the 30th. We've secured our clearances from the Supreme Court, signed our Lawyer Registration Cards, paid our IBP dues, attended the testimonial dinner at Malcolm Hall, shaken hands with Sir Te, Dean Carlota, incoming Dean Leonen, former Dean Pangalangan (also our Poli Law examiner), Ma'am Beth, Sir Lumba, et.al. BUT it still feels so surreal. It hasn't REALLY registered that this is it. We're done. With this chapter, at least. I feel like I'm in some sort of a trance or a dream that I don't want to wake up from. Wow. I can't describe precisely how it feels. It's like a great big sigh of relief after holding my breath for a year, like staring at a diamond necklace through a glass window and then finally being able to wear it. Something like that. My sanity has been tried and tested so many times the past year. It hasn't been easy. I was so sure I was going to take it again, although so many people told me I was just stressing myself out unnecessarily.

In any case, since people are making thank you lists, I thought I'd make one of my own too. This feels pretty much like winning the lottery or winning an Oscar, I think. So... I would like to thank, in no particular order, save for the first and the last:

(1) GOD. - Thank you so much for keeping me sane and getting me through law school and bar review, the bar exams, and waiting for the results. We always said that if ever we passed, it would be all of God's doing.

(2) MY FAMILY - Thank you for taking my mind off the bar and the results when I most needed it, for always believing I'd make it (and for telling me so), and for just being the quirky bunch that you are.

(3) MY BARKADA - Chi, Lianne, Mia, Jen, Daisy, Nico and Oggs. Thank you for being insane, for being the best laiteros and laiteras in town, for inevitably veering the conversation towards jebs, and for not being the people we don't like. Hehe!

(4) MY PRE-WEEK STUDY BUDDIES - Mitch and Jappy. Mitch and I now know more about Jappy than we would have wanted to know. Hehe! Mitch, aymeeshoo! Jappy, buhay ka pa ba?

(5) MY BLOCKMATES - UP LAW A2007 - You guys are the best! I really miss our chismis sessions in between classes and my yosi break buddies: Mitch, Jappy, Chi, Nestor. See you guys at A2007 BarOps.

(6) STARBUCKS KATIPUNAN - For not kicking us out during bar review. Although, come to think of it, the thousands we spent for coffee there SHOULD merit NOT getting kicked out.

(7) THE PRINCE DAVID GUARDS - For praying for us. And for making sure nobody stole my bar review materials. Hehe! Honest, they're so nice.

(8) MY AIRCON - For not breaking down during bar review. (It was scorching hot outside! =o)

(9) UP BAROPS 2007 - P.Y.!!! Thank you super super super much!!! Ang galing galing ng BarOps!!!

(10) UP WINLAW BAROPS 2007 - Angel, Karra, Hardy, Beth, Izzy and everyone else who helped out, thanks for the goody bags, tips, food, and for my weekly Starbucks grande americano in a tall cup, black.

(11) MY PILGRIMAGE/ROADTRIP BUDDIES - I had such a great time touring with you guys. Next time ulit ha. Breakfast tayo sa Bon Giorno tapos balikan natin lahat ng simbahan na dinasalan natin.

(12) THE VARIOUS MAMA MARY'S, SAINTS AND DEITIES I PRAYED TO - Thank you thank you thank you thank you. I really can't thank you enough.

(13) CASTILLO LAMAN TAN PANTALEON & SAN JOSE - Basically, for feeding my shopping frenzy. Hehe! I love my job. I love the 9th floor.

(14) SANDRA LUNA - My bar angel, a.k.a. the first person who told me I passed.

(15) SIR TE - For the pre-bar, weekly pre- and post- bar texts, weekly pre-bar masses, for your presence every bar weekend, and at Salubong and BeerOps (Sir Te stayed longer than most of us did.) bar updates, and messages of encouragement. Your support really meant, and still means, a lot to us.

(16) TITA SUSAN - For letting me stay over the entire month of August to review, for understanding my schedule, and for making my life there super comfortable and conducive to studying.

(17) BAGUIO CITY - For being so cozy cold during the entire month I was there for review. I love the pine-scented air and the view from my tita's 2nd floor library. I swear, it helped.

(17) MAMA - For bugging me to return to Manila for pre-week already. Otherwise, I never would have finished Merc and Poli pre-week.

(18) CHI & PUNCH - For being so bossy with my bar review schedule. Well, it was more Punch than Chi. Talk about bar review police. Hehe! Thanks for the weekly ride to and from Sheraton and for the yosi breaks when I was going insane the nights before the bar Sundays, and for the matching food. And for waiting for the results with me. Oh, and the beer right after we both found out we passed.

(19) NGANGI - Ngangsters, weemeeshu!!! Thank you for bearing with two grumpy insane barristers and not blowing your cover. Thank you for laughing at us when we were being silly, and for making us laugh when we were crying or on the verge of.

(20) TITA MELISSA (CHI'S MOM) - Tita, thank you for your support, for the Saturday lunch pochero and for our baon sandwiches.

(21) TITO IGGY & TITA NINI - Thank you for sending me to law school and for supporting me all the way to after the bar.

(22) TITO RONNIE - Thank you for your encouragement from abroad, and for paying for my hotel accommodations +++ for the bar.

(23) UP COLLEGE OF LAW, esp. Ma'am Beth, Prof. Balane, Ma'am Herbosa, Danny Con (yes, I actually liked his classes), Prof. Morales, Dean Pangalangan - Thank you for admittine me into the College of Law and for the training.

(24) ATENEO DE MANILA UNIVERSITY - Thank you for the happy memories which I would eventually need to cushion the blow that was law school. Hehe!

(25) MY MOM - I can't find the words to thank you enough. I just know that wherever you are, you're happy with what I've done with my life so far, and for who I've become. Thank you for giving me enough of you in the less than ten years you were here, to last me a lifetime.

The final countdown

This is it... Down to the last half hour or so (considering that there will be a 10-15 minute interval between the time they release the results at the SC and the time they post the results at the SC website)... I've been monitoring the SC website since 10:30... I couldn't sleep. My heart was pounding too fast and too hard. I just needed to be somewhere else. I'm such an emotional wreck right now. I just need to be NOT around people I know. The agony of waiting...

Random things attributable to the past 24 hours

P&$^&^ I$^#. Yun lang.

I wanted to write about my state of mind, just to get some of the burden out of my system, but I've been sitting here staring at a blank screen for so long it's obvious that's not going to happen. That just about sums up how gruelling the past 24 hours have been. And nothing anybody can say or do can make anything better. I feel exactly like I did the night before the first bar Sunday. Probably worse, since this time, I feel so helpless, as I really can't do anything but pray for the best.

As if anybody isn't aware of this...

Court News Flash March 2008
Results of 2007 Bar Exams Known Tomorrow Posted: March 28, 2008 By Annie Rose A. Laborte The results of the 2007 Bar Examinations will be released tomorrow, March 29, 2008. “We expect the results to be released tomorrow after lunch,” Assistant Court Administrator Jose Midas P. Marquez, Chief of the Supreme Court Public Information Office and Chief of Staff of the Office of the Chief Justice, told the members of the press in a media briefing following a meeting with Justice Adolfo S. Azcuna, Chairperson of the 2007 Committee on Bar Examinations. “Prior to the release, we really want to check and double-check (the matching of the examinees’ number with the corresponding names of examinees), Atty. Marquez added. The decoding process has already started after the Supreme Court En Banc session that took place this morning. As early as yesterday, Justice Azcuna has said the Bar exams results can be viewed simultaneously at www.supremecourt.gov.ph, the official website of the High Court. The list of the names will be displayed in LCD projectors to be strategically displayed at the Supreme Court front yard near its Padre Faura entrance, Justice Azcuna added. Figures from the Office of the Bar Confidant headed by Deputy Clerk of Court and Bar Confidant Atty. Ma. Cristina B. Layusa showed a total of 5,626 law graduates from 109 law schools nationwide took and finished the exams held on September 2, 9, 16, and 23, 2007 at the De La Salle University in Taft Avenue, Manila. A total of 5,804 law graduates have filed their petitions to take the 2007 Bar exams; 5,799 were admitted. The Rules of Court provide that “a candidate may be deemed to have passed his examination successfully if he has obtained a general average of 75% in all subjects without falling below 50% in any subject.” In determining the average, subjects in the examinations are given the following relative weights: Political and International Law, 15%; Labor and Social Legislation, 10%; Civil Law, 15%; Taxation, 10%; Mercantile Law, 15%; Criminal Law, 10%; Remedial Law, 20%; and Legal Ethics and Practical Exercises, 5%, for a total of 100%. The following are the statistics on the Bar exams results for the past seven years: Year Total Number of Examinees Total Number of Those Who Passed Percentage 2006 6,187 1,893 30.60% 2005 5,607 1,526 27.22% 2004 5,249 1,659 31.61% 2003 5,349 1,108 20.71% 2002 4,659 917 19.68% 2001 3,849 1,266 32.89% 2000 4,698 979 20.84%

For the barristers---NOT bar-related

One of the partners forwarded this to us:

A TRAVEL AGENT'S STORY

A friend has been a Travel Agent for 30 Years. She says, of her 30 years of taking reservation requests from government officials, we are all in trouble.

Here are some of her experiences with these people who run the country.

------------ --------- --------- ----

Senator Tessie Oreta asked for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't
get messed up by being near the window.

------------ ------

I got a call from ex-Mayor Joey Marquez, who wanted to go to Capetown.
Explaining the length of the flight and passport information, he
interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but
Capetown is in Massachusetts ." Without trying to make him look like
the stupid one, I calmly explained, " Cape Cod is in Massachusetts ..
Capetown is in Africa ." His response: (click).

------------ -----

Congressman Mark Lapid called, furious about a Florida package we did
for him and TV star Kris Aquino. I asked what was wrong with the
vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I
tried to explain
that was not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He
replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very
thin state!" (so he expected to see the ocean on both sides of the
hotel?!)

------------ -----

Sen Ralph Recto's popular wife asked, "Is it possible to see England
from Canada ?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the
map."

------------ -----

Senator Lito Lapid asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . I noticed
he had only an hour layover in Dallas . When asked why he wanted to
rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will
need a car to drive between the gates to save time."
------------ -----

Senator Jinggoy Estrada called last week. He needed to know how it was
possible that his flight from Detroit left at 8:20 a.m. and got into
Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour
ahead of Illinois , but he could not understand the concept of time
zones. Finally, I told him the plane went very fast, and he bought
that.

------------ -----

Congressman Ronaldo Zamora asked, "Do airlines put your physical
description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I
said, "No, why do you ask?" He replied, "Well, when I checked in with
the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm
overweight. I think that is very rude!" I looked into it and explained
the city code for Fresno , California is (FAT) and the airline was
just putting a destination tag on his luggage.

------------ -----

Former president-able now TV star Eddie Gil inquired about a trip
package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, he asked,
"Would it be cheaper to fly to California and take the train to Hawaii
?"

------------ -----

I just got off the phone with Senator Bong Revilla who asked, "How do
I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to
which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of
these planes have numbers on them."

------------ -----

VP Noli De Castro asked, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , FL. Do I have
to get on one of those twin engine planes?" I asked if he meant fly to
Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane. He said, "Yeah, whatever!"

------------

Congressman Dilangalen called and had a question about the documents
needed to fly to China . I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh, no I
don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of
those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa.
When I told him this, he said, "Look, I've been to China four times
and every time they accepted my American Express!"

------------ ---

Senator Miriam Defensor called to make reservations, "I want to go
from Chicago to Rhino, New York ." The agent said, "Are you sure
that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied
the lady. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry,
ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find
a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone
knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the
state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo , do
you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal," she said.

Anecdote

Iya, Mondy, Rowena, RGP and I were having lunch at the lounge earlier. The conversation inevitably drifted to the bar results. She called ROP who was at the next table:

RGP: O, Tony (to ROP) bukas na daw lalabas ang Bar!

ROP (to us): O, yung resignation letter niyo sa akin niyo na lang ibigay kung wala kayo tomorrow.

(long silence)

RGP: Tony, di sila natawa!

(Laughter)

Classic.

The top 100 things I'd do if ever I become an evil overlord

The Evil Overlord List
by Peter Anspach

Attention all Evil Overlord List Aspirants: Contrary to popular belief, taking over the universe is not as easy as it would first appear. Due to the complexity of this task, Peter regrets that he is currently unable to give the list the attention it deserves. The list is therefore going on a temporary hiatus. This is a temporary condition. As soon as he is able to respond in a timely manner -- or until he becomes unquestioned lord and master of all things, whichever comes first -- the list will not be updated and no new suggestions will be considered. He would sincerely apologize for this inconvenience, were it in character for an Evil Overlord to do so.

---

Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. With that in mind, allow me to present...

The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Become An Evil Overlord

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.

12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.

14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.

15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.

16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."

17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.

18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.

19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.

20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.

21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.

22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.

27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.

28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.

30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.

31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.

33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.

34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.

36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.

37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.

38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.

39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.

40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.

41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.

42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.

43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.

44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.

45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.

46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.

47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.

48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.

49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.

50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.

51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.

52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.

54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.

55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.

56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.

57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.

58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.

59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.

60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.

61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.

62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.

63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.

64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.

65. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.

66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.

67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.

68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.

69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.

70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.

71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.

72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.

73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.

74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.

75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.

76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)

77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.

78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."

79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.

80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.

81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.

82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.

83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.

84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.

85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."

86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.

87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.

88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.

89. After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.

90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.

91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.

92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.

94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.

95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.

96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.

97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.

98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.

100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

Copyright Notice:

This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached.

AN IMPORTANT NOTE REGARDING THE COPYRIGHT:

This Evil Overlord List grew out of the exchanges on what is now the Star Trek mailing list "shields-up@spies.com", beginning in 1994 (when it was still "startrek@cs.arizona.edu"). We were kicking around cliches that appeared on "Deep Space 9" at the time, and I started to compile a list of classic blunders they were making. The list came to about 20 or so items. In 1995, I decided to try to make it into a Top 100 List. I attached a copyright notice, some friends of mine posted it to a few newsgroups, and the contributions quickly poured in. In 1996 I revised the list entries to their current form, the Web page went up, more contributions were solicited, the list expanded beyond 100 and I had to open up a dungeon. I continued to contribute items; my total is around 40 or so. So while I am the originator, editor, and principal contributor, I certainly did not write the majority of the items on the list -- as may be seen by the sheer number of individuals who are listed as contributors. Around 1997, as the final contributions were coming in, a couple contributors mentioned that this was similar to a list of things not to do if you capture James Bond that had appeared on a sci-fi newsgroup. I'd never heard of or seen this list, so I assumed it was parallel development or perhaps something I had inspired.

On November 12, 2002, I exchanged some emails with Jack Butler who has a list on his website. Sayeth Mr. Butler: "This list has its origins on the now-nonexistent FidoNet Science Fiction and Fandom (SFFAN) email echo, in a discussion regarding a sketch seen on an episode of Saturday Night Live sometime in 1990. In the sketch, several Bond villains were appearing on a talkshow touting their new book, "What Not To Do If You Capture James Bond". The discussion on SFFAN was specifically regarding what advice might be found in that book. The instigator of the discussion was Alesia Chamness; other contributors included Jason Welles, Brian R. Williams, Merideth Knepper, and Alexi Vandenburg. I was also one of its contributors. When I originally posted this list to the Internet in 1994, I did so without any awareness of Mr. Anspach, the Star Trek mailing list on which his version of the list appeared, or (later) his website."

Apparently both lists were compiled during overlapping periods of time. Comparing the two, some items appear on one list but not the other. Other items appear identical to those on this list; since many are the result of my writing or editing, I believe they were taken from this list and posted to that list without permission. But other items on that list appear identical to contributions I received before I edited them. Those items may have been taken from that list and submitted here under false pretenses, or they may have innocently been submitted to both lists by their originators. It appears that as a result of this "cross-contamination", the two lists have arrived at a point where there are variations on each other and it is probably impossible to untangle them. (I would still like to talk with Alesia Chamness. If you know her, please ask her to email me.)

I believe Jack Butler when he says the list on his website is the current form of the James Bond Villain list, and I thank him for helping to clarify matters. Let me state that I had nothing to do with the FidoNet SFFAN list which is firmly in the public domain, and I lay no claim to it. The copyright statement attached to my list applies only to this list, in the form it appears.

-- Peter Anspach