Saturday, March 29, 2008
The final countdown
Friday, March 28, 2008
Random things attributable to the past 24 hours
P&$^&^ I$^#. Yun lang.
I wanted to write about my state of mind, just to get some of the burden out of my system, but I've been sitting here staring at a blank screen for so long it's obvious that's not going to happen. That just about sums up how gruelling the past 24 hours have been. And nothing anybody can say or do can make anything better. I feel exactly like I did the night before the first bar Sunday. Probably worse, since this time, I feel so helpless, as I really can't do anything but pray for the best.
As if anybody isn't aware of this...
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For the barristers---NOT bar-related
One of the partners forwarded this to us:
A TRAVEL AGENT'S STORY
A friend has been a Travel Agent for 30 Years. She says, of her 30 years of taking reservation requests from government officials, we are all in trouble.
Here are some of her experiences with these people who run the country.
------------ --------- --------- ----
Senator Tessie Oreta asked for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't
get messed up by being near the window.
------------ ------
I got a call from ex-Mayor Joey Marquez, who wanted to go to Capetown.
Explaining the length of the flight and passport information, he
interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but
Capetown is in Massachusetts ." Without trying to make him look like
the stupid one, I calmly explained, " Cape Cod is in Massachusetts ..
Capetown is in Africa ." His response: (click).
------------ -----
Congressman Mark Lapid called, furious about a Florida package we did
for him and TV star Kris Aquino. I asked what was wrong with the
vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I
tried to explain
that was not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He
replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very
thin state!" (so he expected to see the ocean on both sides of the
hotel?!)
------------ -----
Sen Ralph Recto's popular wife asked, "Is it possible to see England
from Canada ?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the
map."
------------ -----
Senator Lito Lapid asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . I noticed
he had only an hour layover in Dallas . When asked why he wanted to
rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will
need a car to drive between the gates to save time."
------------ -----
Senator Jinggoy Estrada called last week. He needed to know how it was
possible that his flight from Detroit left at 8:20 a.m. and got into
Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour
ahead of Illinois , but he could not understand the concept of time
zones. Finally, I told him the plane went very fast, and he bought
that.
------------ -----
Congressman Ronaldo Zamora asked, "Do airlines put your physical
description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I
said, "No, why do you ask?" He replied, "Well, when I checked in with
the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm
overweight. I think that is very rude!" I looked into it and explained
the city code for Fresno , California is (FAT) and the airline was
just putting a destination tag on his luggage.
------------ -----
Former president-able now TV star Eddie Gil inquired about a trip
package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, he asked,
"Would it be cheaper to fly to California and take the train to Hawaii
?"
------------ -----
I just got off the phone with Senator Bong Revilla who asked, "How do
I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to
which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of
these planes have numbers on them."
------------ -----
VP Noli De Castro asked, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , FL. Do I have
to get on one of those twin engine planes?" I asked if he meant fly to
Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane. He said, "Yeah, whatever!"
------------
Congressman Dilangalen called and had a question about the documents
needed to fly to China . I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh, no I
don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of
those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa.
When I told him this, he said, "Look, I've been to China four times
and every time they accepted my American Express!"
------------ ---
Senator Miriam Defensor called to make reservations, "I want to go
from Chicago to Rhino, New York ." The agent said, "Are you sure
that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied
the lady. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry,
ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find
a Rhino anywhere." The lady retorted, "Oh, don't be silly! Everyone
knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the
state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo , do
you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal," she said.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Anecdote
Iya, Mondy, Rowena, RGP and I were having lunch at the lounge earlier. The conversation inevitably drifted to the bar results. She called ROP who was at the next table:
RGP: O, Tony (to ROP) bukas na daw lalabas ang Bar!
ROP (to us): O, yung resignation letter niyo sa akin niyo na lang ibigay kung wala kayo tomorrow.
Classic.
The top 100 things I'd do if ever I become an evil overlord
by Peter Anspach
Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. With that in mind, allow me to present...
The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Become An Evil Overlord
- My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
- My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
- My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
- Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
- The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
- I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
- When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
- After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
- I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.
- I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
- I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
- One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
- All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
- The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
- I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
- I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
- When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
- I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
- I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
- Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
- I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
- No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
- I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
- I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
- No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
- No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.
- I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
- My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
- I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
- All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
- All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
- I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
- I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
- I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
- I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
- I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
- If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
- If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
- If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
- I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
- Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.
- When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
- I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.
- I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
- I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
- If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.
- If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
- I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.
- If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
- My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.
- If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
- I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
- If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.
- I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.
- The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
- My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
- Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.
- If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
- I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.
- My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
- If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.
- I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.
- Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.
- I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
- If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.
- My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.
- No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
- I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.
- All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.
- When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.
- If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.
- If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.
- I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.
- When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.
- I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.
- If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)
- If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.
- I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
- If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.
- If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.
- If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
- I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.
- If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
- I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.
- I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."
- I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.
- My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
- If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.
- After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.
- I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
- I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.
- If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)
- If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.
- When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.
- My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.
- My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.
- My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.
- If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
- Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.
- Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.
This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this copyright notice is attached.
AN IMPORTANT NOTE REGARDING THE COPYRIGHT:
This Evil Overlord List grew out of the exchanges on what is now the Star Trek mailing list "shields-up@spies.com", beginning in 1994 (when it was still "startrek@cs.arizona.edu"). We were kicking around cliches that appeared on "Deep Space 9" at the time, and I started to compile a list of classic blunders they were making. The list came to about 20 or so items. In 1995, I decided to try to make it into a Top 100 List. I attached a copyright notice, some friends of mine posted it to a few newsgroups, and the contributions quickly poured in. In 1996 I revised the list entries to their current form, the Web page went up, more contributions were solicited, the list expanded beyond 100 and I had to open up a dungeon. I continued to contribute items; my total is around 40 or so. So while I am the originator, editor, and principal contributor, I certainly did not write the majority of the items on the list -- as may be seen by the sheer number of individuals who are listed as contributors. Around 1997, as the final contributions were coming in, a couple contributors mentioned that this was similar to a list of things not to do if you capture James Bond that had appeared on a sci-fi newsgroup. I'd never heard of or seen this list, so I assumed it was parallel development or perhaps something I had inspired.
On November 12, 2002, I exchanged some emails with Jack Butler who has a list on his website. Sayeth Mr. Butler: "This list has its origins on the now-nonexistent FidoNet Science Fiction and Fandom (SFFAN) email echo, in a discussion regarding a sketch seen on an episode of Saturday Night Live sometime in 1990. In the sketch, several Bond villains were appearing on a talkshow touting their new book, "What Not To Do If You Capture James Bond". The discussion on SFFAN was specifically regarding what advice might be found in that book. The instigator of the discussion was Alesia Chamness; other contributors included Jason Welles, Brian R. Williams, Merideth Knepper, and Alexi Vandenburg. I was also one of its contributors. When I originally posted this list to the Internet in 1994, I did so without any awareness of Mr. Anspach, the Star Trek mailing list on which his version of the list appeared, or (later) his website."
Apparently both lists were compiled during overlapping periods of time. Comparing the two, some items appear on one list but not the other. Other items appear identical to those on this list; since many are the result of my writing or editing, I believe they were taken from this list and posted to that list without permission. But other items on that list appear identical to contributions I received before I edited them. Those items may have been taken from that list and submitted here under false pretenses, or they may have innocently been submitted to both lists by their originators. It appears that as a result of this "cross-contamination", the two lists have arrived at a point where there are variations on each other and it is probably impossible to untangle them. (I would still like to talk with Alesia Chamness. If you know her, please ask her to email me.)
I believe Jack Butler when he says the list on his website is the current form of the James Bond Villain list, and I thank him for helping to clarify matters. Let me state that I had nothing to do with the FidoNet SFFAN list which is firmly in the public domain, and I lay no claim to it. The copyright statement attached to my list applies only to this list, in the form it appears.
-- Peter Anspach
New UP Law Dean
From Atty. Butch San Juan:
Marvic Leonen is the new dean of the College of Law.
The Board of Regents selected him over Danny Concepcion by one vote this morning.
Monday, March 24, 2008
50 questions. (I'm on a one-hour break. Bear with me.)
PART ONE
1. If you could physically transport yourself to any place in the world at this moment, where would you go? - Tuscany =) Blame it on Under the Tuscan Sun.
2. What books from your childhood would you like to share with your children? - various encyclopedia sets, Nancy Drew, fairy tales
3. What is the most violent action you have ever performed? - It hasn't prescribed yet. =p
4. If you could ensure that your children never have one experience that you have had, what would it be? - Wag na, masyadong dramatic.
5. Have you ever been in a restaurant and discovered something in your food that shouldn’t have been there? - Yep. Please don't make me relive it. Ewww...
6. If you could exchange places with any person from history, no longer alive, who would you want to have been? - Could I kill Imelda Marcos and THEN say Imelda Marcos? Hehe! Seriously though... Jackie O., I guess. Now THAT's an interesting life.
7. What modern convenience should never have been invented? - I love convenience. Can't think of anything right now.
8. What annually televised show is an absolute “must see” for you? - Any Ateneo-La Salle Seniors basketball game =D
9. If you could have a secret camera in any room in the world, what room would you put it in? - Brad Pitt's shower. Hahahahaha!
10. What’s the most romantic movie you ever saw? - The Holiday. =D
11. In your opinion, which animal is the most beautiful? - Chase Crawford =D
12. What's one thing you've always wanted to do, but never have? - Spontaneous travel on an unlimited budget.
13. If you could have a servant come to your house every day for one hour, what would you have them do? - Everything: blowdry my hair, iron my clothes, clean the house, do my laundry, etc.
14. What is one talent or skill you don't have but always wanted? - the performing arts, singing, dancing, playing the piano, the cello, the violin
15. If you could have any music group or musician alive today to play at your birthday party, which group would you hire? - For variety: Leslie Feist, Allesio Benvenuti, Psapp, Justin Timberlake, Keane, Jimmy Eat World, The Spice Girls, The Pussycat Dolls and...Britney Spears. Should be fun. =p
16. Do you have any body piercings or tattoos? Why, or why not? - Just the traditional ear piercing. I don't particularly relish the thought of metal scraps or ink in random parts of my body.
17. Have you ever taken a peek at someone else’s diary? - Heehee! =D
18. If you could have the body of someone from history or alive today and keep your own brain, whose body would you chose? - Heidi Klum. =D
19. If you could have the brain of someone from history or alive today and remain in your own body, whose brain would you chose? - It's a tie between Adolf Hitler and Ferdinand Marcos. (minus all the bad stuff.)
20. What is the worst food combination you can think of? An example: hamburgers with whipped cream … - Ice cream with vinegar. blech.
21. If you could have the world’s largest collection of one thing, what would it be? - Good books. =D
22. What scents remind you of a loved one? - Lysol, floor wax and freshly laundered clothes? =p And Jovan Musk.
23. What is the most shameful thing you’ve ever done? - It's so shameful I'd rather not broadcast it.
24. If you could be the lover of any person alive other than your current lover, who would you pick? - Chase Crawford =D
25. If you could increase your IQ by 40 points by having an ugly scar on your face, would you do so? - No, thank you. I'm happy the way I am.
PART TWO
1. How much taller or shorter than you actually are would you like to be? - I would like to be seven inches taller.
2. You’ve no doubt heard the expression “Wake up and smell the coffee!” If you could wake up every morning to the distinct smell of any one thing, what would you choose? - fresh pine-scented air. =)
3. If you could be married to someone famous from the past who is no longer alive, who would you like it to be? - Could I kill Chase Crawford?
4. Which sex do you think has it easier in our culture? Have you ever wished you were of the opposite sex? - I've never wanted to have a penis. I'm happy being a hormonal female. =p
5. You move to a new residence and have absolutely no household items or furniture. If you were on a tight budget, what would your first purchase be? If you had unlimited funds, what would your first purchase be? - Either way, I would buy a bed first. I treasure my nap time.
6. Suppose that we still lived in an age when kings and queens ruled the lands. Would you rather be the monarch or his number one advisor? - The monarch, of course. I want a crown and a scepter and a throne and everything else that comes with the package.
7. Would you rather spend a month on vacation with your parents or put in overtime at your current job for four weeks without extra compensation? - I like my parents. Of course I'd rather go on vacation with them.
8. How did you celebrate your last birthday? - I spent it with my family. =)
9. If you could be the house cat or lap dog of any person on earth, whose would you choose to be? - Again, Chase Crawford.
10. Are there people you envy enough to want to trade lives with them? Who are they? - Prince William's girlfriend, or... Angelina Jolie
11. Would you donate one of your kidneys to a total stranger? - Probably not.
12. Think of all the things to be happy about. How many can you write down in 15 minutes? - A LOT.
13. You learn that a close friend is successful because of illegal activities. Would it change your relationship? Would you tell anyone else? - Depends on what kind of illegal activity. If it's really bad, yes to both. If it's something like compulsive jaywalking, duh.
14. We see many signs each day that say No Smoking, No Trespassing, No Pets, etc. If you could put an original “No _____” sign on your front door, what would it say? - "No Pretentious People."
15. Select a favorite food for every letter of the alphabet. - I'll do that tomorrow. I'm just on a one-hour break.
16. What is the strongest craving you get? - seafood, chocolate, steak
17. If you could choose the very last thing you would see before you die, what would it be? - A pretty sunset. How apt.
18. What is the one thing you'd most like to change about the world? - Violence in all forms.
19. How do you release frustration? - I smoke.
20. If you owned a store, what would you sell? - Foodies!!!
21. If you could commit one crime without being caught, what crime would you commit? - Please see Oceans 11. =D
22. Imagine that you wake up one morning and are handed five hundred dollars . . . and told that you must have it spent by midnight of that same day. You are also told that any tangible objects you buy, unless they are completely used up, will have to be given back at the stroke of midnight. How would you spend your cash? - Roughly Php20,000. Easy. Spend the day with a friend at the spa, eat good steak and seafood and drink decent wine. That's easily Php20,000.
23. What's the last thing you bought yourself, just for fun? - Claudette's Tiramisu. =D
24. If you could eliminate any one type of insect permanently from the earth, what would you get rid of? - Cockroaches. Yuck yuck yuck.
25. Your friends start belittling a common acquaintance. If you felt their criticisms were unjustified, would you defend the person? - Probably.
I would like to hear Janina San Miguel try to read these sentences. :))
| We must polish the Polish furniture. He could lead if he would get the lead out. The farm was used to produce produce. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. The soldier decided to desert in the desert. This was a good time to present the present. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. I did not object to the object. The insurance was invalid for the invalid. The bandage was wound around the wound. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. They were too close to the door to close it. The buck does funny things when the does are present. They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. The wind was too strong to wind the sail. After a number of injections my jaw got number. Upon seeing the tear in my clothes I shed a tear. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
She could not live with a live mouse in the house. It was just a minute prick and over in a minute. His mistake was putting his left foot forward while putting. We would probably read more Shakespeare if we understood what we read. There was a bow tied in the ropes on the bow of the ship. You should spring that on us next spring! |
More on the B-word
I know, I know… I’m torturing myself. I can’t help it… I was invariably drawn to the Supreme Court website, and then inevitably to the 2007 bar exams. The results will most likely be released by the end of this week. Thus the clammy hands and feet and everything else. I have no idea what I’m going to pummel myself with on Friday to keep myself from thinking about the B-word. Maybe I’ll just go to work til a teeny tiny bit after noon, and then board a bus to somewhere up north where nobody knows me, and commune with God til I receive the fabulous news. But then again, knowing myself, I’ll probably be glued to a monitor somewhere, refreshing again and again and again til the list of “successful bar examinees” appears before my tired eyes… Argggh… Positive thinking…
I will pass the 2007 bar.
I will pass the 2007 bar.
I will pass the 2007 bar.
(I’ve been sporadically visualizing my name on that list, just in case the universe gets tired of listening to my cerebral mumbling and decides to listen to my heartfelt plea.)
It’s torture. Sheer torture. What on earth have I gotten myself into this time?
Oh, and I’ve given in to Folk Catholicism too, for the purpose of passing the bar. I might as well pray to Buddha and Shiva and Allah and Zeus and Thor and whoever else will listen. I need to drown myself in work so I can forget about the impending onslaught of all imaginable emotions. But then again, it’s already begun. I want to go hide under a rock. Or bury myself underneath my pillows until it's all over. Heeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllpppppppppppppp meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
I sooooooooo need a beer…
Monday, March 17, 2008
Suggestions Wanted
High school (from Rich)
Lagyan ng 'x' sa gitna ng [ ] kapag ito ay naaangkop sa iyo!
1.[x] Nagcutting ka na? - i hung out at the guidance office or at the icmo (institutional campus ministry office) with ate karen or brother hans. or i feigned sickness and slept at the clinic.
2.[ ] Ginagawang basketball/volleyball/ kahit anong sports ang klasroom niyo. - i wore glasses, so i didn't share my classmates' love for stuff involving flying balls.
3.[x] Palabas-labas ka ng room kapag nababagot - not enough to attract attention though.
4.[ ] Sumisigaw ka at ginagawang playground ang room kapag walang teacher.
5.[x] Hindi ka nakikinig sa mga sermon ng mga guro at madalas ay nakikipag sign language ka pa sa classmate mo. - i stared at random inanimate objects to guise my indifference.
6.[x] Nangongopya ka o nagpapakopya ka kahit short quiz lamang. - nagpapakopya lang. we had all sorts of amazing techniques then.
7.[ ] Nahuli ka na pero hindi ka pa rin tumitigil sa pangongopya.
8.[ ] Tinataasan mo ng boses ang iyong titser. - i was an angel. O=)
9.[x] Nakikinig ka sa iPod/MP3 mo habang naglelesson ang iyong titser. - um, wala pang iPod and mp3 players when i was in high school... gerard felizardo brought along his video camera lang, we watched "videos" in relition class. mr. nazareno's class was the MOST BORING CLASS EVER. oh, and we played spin-the-bottle a lot during filipino and religion classes.
10.[ ] Nandoktor ka na ng mga quarterly exams.
11.[x] Pinagtatawanan mo ang teacher mo at kahit anong simpleng bagay na mapapansin mo sa classroom. - just the ones i didn't like.
12.[x] Nagsusulatan kayo ng mga kaklase mo habang nagtuturo ang inyong guro. - yep. jingo and i filled up sheets of pad paper. d and i even bought special note-passing stationery. =p
13.[ ] Kapag umalis ang inyong guro ay tinitingnan mo ang kanyang lesson plan. -where's the fun in THAT?
14.[x] Kumain ka habang nagtuturo ang inyong guro. - i just never quite perfected the art of eating actual meals during class.
15.[ ]Nagtetext ka habang nagtuturo ang inyong guro. - i had an analog phone, no texting capability yet.
16.[ ] Tumatayo ka sa klase kahit hindi ka sinasabihang tumayo. - like i said, i was an angel. O=)
17.[x] Nagsusulat ka sa blackboard kahit bawal at wala ang teacher mo. - who said it was bawal ba?
18.[ ] Kapag walang kwenta ang subject at ang teacher, sadyang masarap matulog. - yep. i didn't sleep in the classroom though. there was the guidance office for that.
19.[ ] Idinodrowing mo sa notebook mo kung ano ang itsura ng titser mo kapag magalit. - can't draw. my classmates did, i think.
20.[x] Dinadaldal mo ang mga tahimik sa room para tuluyan nang umingay ang klase. - our barkada was known for being noisy in class.
21.[ ] Dinodrawing mo itsura ng titser mo kapag cartoons itsura nya. - see number19
TOTAL: 10
Now, multiply it by 5: 10 x 5 = 50 % evil
How Atenean are you?
In your four years in Ateneo, did you…
(x) eat at Manang’s. - i miss manang's...
(x) learn the alma mater song. - masakit sa arms.
(x) get on the dean’s list.
( ) lie down and sleep on a bench along EDSA walk. - Well, they took out the benches towards the end of college, so...
( ) be a TNT. - a lotta crap i wasn't willing to bear before getting in.
(x) jog around the campus in the evening - i looooooooooove the ateneo campus! there's so much to do there. =p
( ) visit the art gallery
(x) know at least one xerox lady, manong, or technician by name. - ate mercy, the photocpier near the dollhouse.
(x) get a Jesuit for a teacher. - fr. giordano (theo of liberation)
( ) itch from higad bites - i was always careful to avoid the quad on windy days.
( ) have gotten an F in something. - nope, no F's and proud of it.
(x) have taken a crap in school - well, i stayed in eliazo for four years. i don't think NOT taking a crap in school would have been humanly possible.
(x) give a powerpoint presentation. - too many to count.
( ) study in the Caf Upstairs - i rarely went there.
(x) watch a T.A. play. - i even saw some that weren't required for class. they're pretty good.
(x) sit on the SEC ledge and watch the stars. - like i said, i love the ateneo campus. =)
(x) eat in Full House, Martha’s Kitchen, and Ken Afford. - and eyrie. i loved their chicken sisig, and everything else.
(x) sleep in the lib - yes, although i stayed in the dorm, i also slept in the lib sometimes to take a break from studying.
(x) visit Mr. San Andres - people got mad because of something i wrote, so i complained because the teacher who had my work published neither informed me nor obtained my consent.
(x) go to the chapel. - it's nice and peaceful there.
(x) have gotten a pebble stuck in your shoe/slippers in the middle of the quad.
( ) cut class with your block to watch a movie. - i was an angel. O=)
( ) sign up for those institutional (i.e. difficult but brilliant) teachers: Ferriols, Dacanay, David, Manacsa, Ang, Escaler, Arcilla, Totanes, and many others. - no, although not by choice. the management dept reg took so long by the time i finished, it was free for all, and all the good ones were taken.
(x) go to CERSA night - i DID live in the dorm, after all.
(x) have tried siomai rice. - yum!!!
(x) learn how to smoke. - i learned in college, but i didn't start smoking regularly til law school.
( ) fall in love. - i'm not sure...
(x) actually read the book you keep borrowing from the lib.
(x) play cards during your free time.
(x) dress in business attire.
(x) learn to stay awake for more than 24 hours straight. - i also learned to cram in college.
( ) have gotten side comments from ASSOC.
(x) take (and enjoy) Saturday classes. - most law and marketing subjects were weekday evening or saturday morning classes.
(x) go to your immersion. - napindan, taguig (urban poor).
(x) eat Food for Thought sandwiches.
(x) get a boyfriend/girlfriend.
(x) take time to read the vandalism in the CR doors.
(x) watch “Minsan Lang Sila Bata” and “Macho Dancer” for class.
(x) do a last minute paper. - i'm an expert crammer.
(x) have spent a lot for 1x1 ID pictures
(x) get exempted from final exams. - at one point, i wasn't informed that i was exempted until i submitted my bluebook. my teacher gave me an A instead of a B+ because I took the final. hehe!
(x) attend a college mass
(x) promise to quit smoking – promise lang naman eh
( ) play hide-and-seek in the mini-forest.
(x) know where the best restrooms are on campus
(x) join an org. - i joined. and that was it. hehe! i had my lovelife and dorm life to attend to. =p
(x) allow yourself to make mistakes - and god knows i made A LOT of them.
(x) take summer classes - all my summers were fully booked.
(x) admire the sacred heart statue in the evening
(x) make a video for a project.
( ) have a crush on a teacher.
(x) attend a Jesuit retreat - i was part of sir ranny's attempt at forming a dorm core spiritual group. =p
( ) have gotten a parking ticket - didn't, and still don't, have a car.
( ) come to school in your crappiest yet most comfy clothes - no naman...
(x) learn how to use the Bayantel pay phones
(x) participate in school activities.
( ) catch the Blue Babble Battalion tryouts
(x) date an Atenean. – yezzir.
(x) ride a tricycle on campus
(x) find a tambayan. - we shared the berch hallway with the berch boys (tantan et.al.)
(x) admire the marikina valley at night. - looks like a jewelry box from our balcony.
(x) go drinking along Katipunan – chicago, gills and fins, i-cue, loft, tapika, gilligan's...
( ) learn how to beg for a higher grade.
(x) use your cuts wisely. – i never maxed out my cuts. =)
( ) volunteer to be class beadle.
(x) had the worst lottery schedule for reg.
(x) admire the trees on campus.
(x) have forgotten about your free cut and gone to that class
(x) eat in the ISO canteen.
( ) be active in your org.
( ) have signed up on an ACP class just because the girl or guy u like signed up for it
(x) get as many app forms as you can during the job fair
(x) learn how to cram.
(x) sell tickets (or watch) an org-sponsored movie premiere - i think i got bullied into watching some MISA sponsored premiere.
( ) save money to Xerox all of your seatmate’s notes. - they photocopied MY notes. =p
(x) have accidentally seen a make-out session – yeah, they're everywhere.
(x) check out the Meron Lagoon and Lambingan Bridge - we used to walk around there a lot going to and from Starbucks at night.
( ) have dozed off in class in Bel right after a class in CTC/SOM/Comm. Not after a class in CTC/SOM/or Comm tho.
(x) learn how to work with groupmates from hell.
( ) perfect the art of parking on campus
( ) had a bad encounter with one of the guards on campus
(x) develop a love for sisig
(x) learn how to pronounce “AEGIS” properly.
( ) have used typing rooms at the library - no need for those.
( ) have reserved a classroom, AVR, etc. for a class or org function - i don't even know how to do that.
( ) have asked the library for an endorsement to research in other libraries
(x) have lost a perfectly functioning umbrella - someone stole my ateneo umbrella from the umbrella rack, so i stole someone else's. i figured it was appropriate. =p
( ) have used consultation hours properly – never did.
(x) Looked forward to lab breakage refund, in case you didn’t break any equipment - i don't think i ever told my dad we got refunds. =p
(x) visit the Guidance Office. - OAA scholars are required to interview with the guidance office once a year.
(x) visit the infirmary. - when tanya sprained her ankle because of chi.