My last goodbye...

Haha! Dramatic ba? Anyhoo, I'll be outta town for the next 2 weeks or so. I'll be in my treehouse in the province. Hehe! I'll be visiting family and friends I haven't seen for months. I'll be spending a week at my grandmother's in Biñan before I go to Lipa for All Saints' and All Souls' Days and a couple extra, to spend time with my dad, my stepmom and my two brothers.

So there. It's not THAT far from civilization, I assure you. I can still receive text messages, so if anything comes up or whatever, just holler. Or send smoke signals. Something. I won't be updating my blog or checking my mail til I come back though. Time to give my online life a bit of a rest too. I'll be back with my kwento in two weeks, or three weeks max.

Again, if it's important, you guys have my number. Happy sembreak! (Well, until the grades come out anyway...)

LINES FROM THE SONGS I’M LISTENING TO…

Again, these are just lines ha. They are not intended to mean anything or to get any message across. I just happen to be listening to my first MP3 cd, these songs appear in the first few folders, when alphabetically arranged. Don’t take me too seriously. I really don’t make THAT much sense.

“You are the perfect drug, the perfect drug, the perfect drug… / You are the perfect drug, the perfect drug, the perfect drug… / You are the perfect drug, the perfect drug, the perfect drug…”

“I want you all tattooed / I want you bad / Complicated / X-rated / I want you bad bad bad bad bad bad…”

“If you could only see the way she loves me / Then maybe you would understand / Why I feel this way about our love / And what I must do / If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says / When she says she loves me…”

“I’m a slut / That’s why you love me / That’s why you have me too…”

“And all we have to lose is time / And what we lose we leave behind..."

“Don’t look at me that way / Just close your eyes / Do you want to say it / I can make it on my own / I’m not alone / And if you go away you know…”

“All about chemistry / Won’t you show me everything me you know / Won’t you show me everything you know…”

“I have become cumbersome to this world / I have become cumbersome to my girl… Too heavy, too black or too white, too wrong or too right / Too rich or too poor…”

“There’s been time / I’m so confused / All my roads they lead to you / Just can’t turn and walk away / It’s hard to say what it is I see in you / Wonder if I’ll always be with you / Words can’t say and I can’t do enough to prove it’s all for you…”

NOTE: Obvious ba, tinatamad ako gumawa ng paper?

RANDOM THOUGHTS (which came up while I was writing my tax paper)

*First of all, when I don’t name the people I describe, the descriptions could match at least half-a-dozen people. They are not named for a reason. No assumptions called for here. Nuff said. Some people can be so annoying sometimes.

*For the record, I’m tired of him na. Yauck, feeling. ‘Di nga. Time for a change. Time to switch. Masyado nang matagal yan. Nakakasawa na. Mario, I won our bet! Sabi ko sayo, by the start of the 2nd sem diba? See, I’m 3 weeks ahead of schedule. 

*Like I said before, sometimes, I think people take me too seriously. That’s why I always get myself into trouble. Hello?!! What a weird world.

*Mario’s leaving na on Tuesday… =(

*I’m going home tomorrow. Yay! I’ll be spending a week at my grandmother’s in Biñan then I’m going home to Lipa with Joven to spend All Saints’ and All Souls’ Days with my Dad, my stepmom and my brothers. I’ll probably meet up with Kiel before I come back here for reg. Now if only I could finish this Tax paper…

*Another weird thing. The past few days, I’ve been saving text messages from an old friend. Nothing special. Wala lang, na-touch lang ako that he remembered. He’s still the same old weirdo from high school.

*I wonder when the grades will be out… The anticipation is killing me…

*I’m currently half-done with my bonus tax paper. It doesn’t make any sense though. It’s more like a PolSci paper than a Tax paper. Oh well. What can a girl do when her brain is on vacation?

*I love Gilmore Girls and Jack and Bobby. Jack kinda looks like Sam but thinner. But I am consciously preventing myself from fulfilling Nico’s prophecy that I’m going to end up marrying a foreigner. Ayoko nga. Baka mamaya he has hair up his ass pa. Or doesn’t wash. And leaves skid marks. Ewww… Gross!

*Nico is on a silent retreat in Tagaytay, but he broke his solemn oath of silence by greeting Punch Happy Birthday, texting me, and secretly watching TV with the maids. Haha! Funny kid. Lovers abound daw in Tagaytay.

*And the record holder for the most messages saved in my phone inbox is…NICO!!! Currently at 8 out of 16, though when I erase a couple of transient messages, it’ll probably be at 8 out of 10 or something. Ang cute kasi magtext ni Nico, may sense. Hehe!

* And the record holder for the oldest message saved in my phone inbox is…NICO!!! The oldest message here is from June 17, 2003 00:30:42. From Nico’s number from college pa, the phone with a little love letter insert for the magnanakaw. Hehe! We used to laugh at him when we were in college because of that.

*I’m rediscovering old MP3’s I’d forgotten about. Alana Davis, Tonic, Creed, 3 Doors Down, Anika Paris… College songs, mostly. Fun fun. 

*Yesterday was Punch’s 20-somethingth birthday.

*Yesterday was also L.A.’s 24th birthday. Yep, friends na ulit kami.

*Up and coming birthdays: 24 – King, Pawie; 25 – Angie Uy; 26 – A.J. Paz; 27 – Tonyboy, Jenie; 28 – Anja, Jocs; 29 – Joven; 30 – Tanya.

*Bakit ba madaming taong may birthday ng October? Hmm… So minus 9 months, ginawa sila January. Onga naman, malamig pa nun. Hehe! Ako, ginawa ako July, rainy season. According to my lola, sa Iloilo daw. Mother! I really shouldn’t be privy to this sort of information! Puhleeeease!!!

RECONSTRUCTED ANECDOTES FROM COLLEGE AND LAW SCHOOL FRIENDS 

RECONSTRUCTED ANECDOTES FROM COLLEGE AND LAW SCHOOL FRIENDS 

(1) Girl borrows boy’s jacket, and is returning the jacket.

Boy: “I want my jacket back…with you in it.” (Hahaha! What a line!)

NOTE: Boy got his jacket back. Without the girl in it. Kasi naman!

(2) Girl and boy are fighting. Girl does not want to talk.

Boy: Why won’t you talk to me? What’s wrong?
Girl: Just give me a moment, ok? I don’t want to talk right now.
Boy: Why?
Girl: Basta, it’s one of those moments. I just don’t feel like talking.
Boy: Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?
Girl: (Exasperated) Never mind, the moment is over.

NOTE: Nagbati rin naman sila eventually. Lesson, wag pilitin ang taong ayaw magsalita.

(3) Girl pondering the IF scenario of liking someone else.

Boy: Well, there will always be someone better looking, nicer, and all of that, but what matters is who you really love.

NOTE: Yan ha, may magagamit na kayo na line. Plus points yan. Just don’t dwell on the “better looking” part. Baka sabihin pa, sinasabihan mo siya na pangit siya. Hehe!

(4) Girl naglalambing, says she has a song na for the boy, I miss you by Incubus. Boy listens to song.

“Threefold utopian dream?!!” And boy immediately gets mad. Feeling niya may other boys girlfriend niya. Hahaha! Ano ba yan!

NOTE: Nagbreak din sila eventually, thank God!

(5) Unintentional confession. Boy and girl are walking back to the dorm past midnight. Cat meows, sounds like a baby crying. Girl, startled, jumps in fright.

Boy: You’re like Kyle (not real name).
Girl: (Medyo bingi, thought he said “You like Kyle.” Panicking.) Ohmigod. How did you know? Was I that obvious?
Boy: Uh, I said YOU’RE like Kyle, not YOU like Kyle.
Girl: Oh. Okay.

NOTE: Naging sila a few weeks after this incident.

(6) Boy is driving girl home from Makati.

Girl: You do know she likes you right?
Boy: Yeah, but I like someone else.
Girl: Ah talaga? Sino?
Boy: Ikaw.
Girl: Wushu! Whatever! Binobola mo nanaman ako.
Boy: You know, you should start taking people seriously.
Girl: Huh? What do you mean?
Boy: People who like you.
Girl: Huh? People like who? (Fishing na to at this point. =p)
Boy: People like me.

NOTE: Naging sila a few weeks after this incident.

(7) 3 girls, 2 guys walking to KFC for lunch.

Boy: Is the sun shining?
Girl: Huh? Abnormal ka talaga.
Boy: ‘Di nga, is the sun shining?
Girl: (Sarcastic.) No, it’s emitting heat and light.
Boy: Hay…

NOTE: May pagka-abnoy lang talaga siya. Pero naging sila a few weeks after this incident.

(8) Nico and Chi know this one by heart. Haha! Marketing paper overnight run in Eliazo. I brought rambutan for my groupmates. It was 5am, we were all sleepy. There were 2 pieces left, I think. Iyos ate one. Impe ate one. A third friend, itago na lang natin siya sa pangalang Therese. Nakakahiya kasi for her. Anyway, Therese was busy chewing.

Therese: Mmmm… Sarap ng rambutan.
Iyos: Ha? Eh dalawa na lang yun eh. Kinain ko na yung isa, kinain ni Impe yung isa.
Therese: Talaga? Open na nga siya kanina.
Grace: Ohmigod, kinain mo second-hand rambutan!!!

NOTE: Naging si Iyos and Impe senior year. And si rambutan girl, may boyfriend na rin daw, according to a common friend. Hehe! I think mas careful na siya kumain ng rambutan ngayon.

(9) Room 305 Eliazo Hall. A certain roommate was asking me something about Ma11.

Roommate: Grace, pano kunin yung y-interceept?
Grace: Bwahahaha!

(10) HUGE moth flying around the ceiling fan in our dorm room. That particular ceiling fan has killed a good many insectoids. Moth gets caught in the blades, and is thrown to the floor, apparently dead. Tanya approaches the remains and checks for signs of life.

Tanya: It…

The moth suddenly moves.

Tanya: …has been alive!!!

(11) Laya is memorizing the Our Father in Spanish in our room for Spanish orals the next day:

Laya: (Reciting what she thought was the Our Father in Spanish)

Laya: Ohmigod! Mali! Sinasabi ko pala, Our Father, how are you in heaven!!!

(12) Grace and seatmate Koko doodling in her notebook during Partnerships and Corporations class with Pio Batino. Sir notices them.

Atty. Batino: Ms. Torralba, would you like to show your drawing to the class?
Grace: No Sir, it’s ugly.

(13) Legal History class with Dan Gat.

Dan Gat: Ms. Gabriel, when was the Civil Code enacted?
Daisy: (Serious) Sir, sometime in the 20th century.

(14) Property class with Barry Barry Arbitrary.

Barry: Ms. Sebastian, how was the land acquired in this case?
Mia: (Frantically going through the digest) Sir, treason and rebellion.
Oggs to Nico: Hindi ako makapaniwala na sinabi ni Mia yun.

(15) Crim 2 class with Sir Te.

TOT: Ms. Sebastian?
Mia: (Stands up.) Sir?
TOT: I’m just checking attendance.

(16) Persons class with Ma’am Beth.

EAL: Mr. Cruz, why are you smiling? Did I say something funny? Stop smiling!

(17) Again, Persons class with Ma’am Beth.

Oggs: …Singalong Street… (pronounced /singalong/, not /sing-ga-long/)
Oggs: …Violeta Drilon… (pronounced /vīoleta/)

(18) Moot court.

Mia (direct examination of plaintiff Mr. A): Do you have any proof of this?
Mr. A: Yes, I have a printout of an email from my sent inbox.

(19) Early Friday morning freshman year

Grace (while skimming through Dan Gat's article Eyes Wide Shut) to Chi: Haha! Malas talaga ng matatawag sa article na 'to.

During class...

Dan Gat: (Shuffles class cards.) Ms. Torralba?

NOTE: Hello? Bagong break ako nun!

(20)Another early Friday morning freshman year

Grace: (Thinking to herself in the cab while reading the opening paragraph on the article Bossism on the Mafia.) Di naman siguro ako matatawag today...

During class...

Dan Gat: Ms. Torralba.
Grace: (Recites the first article which she was able to read).
Dan Gat: Ok. Let's go to the next article.
Grace (in her head): Holy shit.
Grace (this time out loud): Um, sir... (Then makes up a long discourse on the Mafia in relation to the previous article.)

NOTE: A few minutes later, Chi, Jen and I were standing for recit. (Ron had previously recited also.) Dan Gat walked out.

GRACE: I can't remember the other law school anecdotes. Send nyo na lang sakin, para I can add them. May plan kami nila Nico gumawa ng compilation for the block. Wala lang. To remember our happy moments in law school. No matter how few there are. Hehe! Why do I think of all these things when I’m supposed to be writing a Tax paper?

Clarity

Haayyy... The world has not been this clear in a long time. Hehe! I got new contacts kasi. Kaya pala ang labo labo ng world lately. Hahaha! Shet, ang corny. Anyhoo, I really have to start taking care of my eyes... The past year, my grade jumped from 300 to 375 (left eye) and from 250 to 325 (right eye). Astigmatism remains at 25. I may go blind someday if this vicious pattern perpetuates itself. Egad. Thus, as part of my campaign to regain my long lost vision, I will no longer write a tax paper. Hehe! Just kidding. Off to dinner I go. I'm done downloading more stuff to read. And then I'm going back to Clive Staples Lewis. Ano ba yan, kinikilig pa rin ako sa new pet ko (my new book). Abnormal!!!

Remember (Christina Rossetti)

REMEMBER
Christina Rossetti

Remember me when I have gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future you had plann’d:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

THE MORE LOVING ONE

THE MORE LOVING ONE
W. H. Auden

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth indifference is the least
We have to dread from man or beast.

How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.

Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn,
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.

Were all stars to disappear or die,
I should learn to look at an empty sky
And feel its total dark sublime,
Though this might take me a little time.

Lovely afternoon

Moot court pictures won't upload. Anyway, I have them naman in my Yahoo Photos thingiemajiggie.

In any case, I just spent the entire day doing nothing. Nothing productive, that is. I just spent the day reading C.S. Lewis, walking around the condo, watching local shows... It's a lovely afternoon. I smell like bubblegum. Hehe! Victoria's Secret Passionate Kisses.

It's Kiel's birthday today. The twerp's a good 24 years old today. Makulit pa rin. We're probably rendezvous-ing when I go home, as we've been doing every sembreak / Christmas break / summer since college. It's also Jappy's birthday today. Happy happy happy birthday guys!!! =)

Haaayyy...

Anyhoo, gotta start working on that Tax paper already.

Our first picture with Teddy Te

This was taken after Sir Te emphatically said in reply to our request to have our picture taken with him that he wasn't dressed to be photographed, i.e. a polite "No." Well. Sorry, makapal talaga mukha ng barkada namin. (Minus Nico, who abandoned us in this case for greener pastures.)

Change and all that comes with it.

It's fascinating how some things are bound to change

no matter how much one would have wanted to believe they never would...

I've been in touch with my ex for a couple of weeks now. We spent a good 2+++ years together from my junior year in college to early freshman year of law school. We had a brief interlude of sorts early sophomore year and early junior year. But now it's really over, and I know that for a fact. Tanya and I were just talking about this earlier. When L.A. and I were together, I was into the idealistic notion of "my first and my only". As things turned out, that wasn't exactly how fate had set my life out to be. After a river of tears and a dozen sleepless nights, we broke up going into my first final exam season in law school. At that time, I was admittedly a walking corpse. I was just numb. I couldn't study, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. And it didn't help that he was basically my neighbor, that I see his family around the area basically everyday, and that we have so many friends in common, most of whom took my side, and still maintain it was his fault why things turned sour. We didn't talk for about a year after that. I never saw him too.

A year after that, we started talking again. It all started when I was hanging out in SBC with Bibay and Steph. A huge manatee (Teeheehee! Just kidding.) appeared by my side and said hi. When I looked up, it was him. I didn't realize I had just borrowed a chair from his brother, who had just recently come home from Canada, and whom I had previously seen only in photographs. Apparently, he was upstairs in the smoking area when we had checked if there were seats available. I did think to myself that he looked familiar, but by then, I'd forgotten what he looked like, so I wasn't altogether sure if it was him. So there. We met by accident in SBC a couple of times after that. We started going out regularly. He started inviting me to Sunday lunch and other family events, friends' birthdays... You get the idea. But then I figured the whole friend thing wasn't going to work out. I wanted much more. I wanted to get back what we had before. But that was impossible at that point. I broke it off a few weeks into the second sem.

Third year, we started chatting. I was wary of the whole melodrama thing at this point, but as it turns out, by this time, I was over the whole thing. I had gotten my c-l-o-s-u-r-e. And I think you guys know why. It's complicated, but yeah, that's it. So now, L.A. and I talk or text occasionally, have a beer, stuff like that. But as for strings formerly attached, I think they're all gone. I still care as I would for any of my friends, but at this point, it's all just, well, water under the bridge, so to speak.

...and how other things will always remain unwavering
in spite of how much time has passed.

I spent the latter part of the afternoon in Galleria today. I managed to drag myself out of bed today after sleeping around 5 or 6 in the morning already. I read the first few chapters of my new pet, see. Anyway, I got myself ready for my Galleria trip and was on my way. I remembered I had to get my eyes checked, so I walked into the first optical shop I saw. But good Lord in heaven, when I saw their sink, I said to myself, I am not letting any of these people anywhere near my eyes. Sarabia Optical in Galleria is dingy, if I may say so. The stainless sink is encrusted with the residue from a hundred handwashes. They use a slimy pink bar of Palmolive soap to wash their hands, and use a damp handtowel to dry them. The "doctor" told me I had to take off my contacts for half an hour before I could get my eyes checked, so I took 'em off and sat there blind, waiting for the sky to fall down on me. After 15 minutes and having finished off the last few pesos of my credits texting Tanya, A.R. and Franco, I decided to go over to Sabater Pascual, where I've been getting my eyes checked for the past 4 years. I left my contacts where they lay, and decided not to risk getting some dreaded eye infection from the yucky place.

I managed to find my customary eyecare shop with not much trouble, and blew a little less than 2000 on contacts and the downpayment on a new pair of glasses, which I'm picking up in a month, when I get back to the real world. Assuming I'm allowed to enroll.

I then went up to 806 to visit Tanya, one of my college roommates. Tanya's family is from Davao, and I only get to see her the once or twice she comes to Manila on business trips. I miss her and Carmi... The four of us (plus Chi) spent a good four years together (2 and a half in Carmi's case) in college. They saw me passed out drunk and barfing all over the bathroom floor of Tanya's Makati condo in our junior year after well, the first breakup. They were with me when I got the scare of my college life in my freshman year when I got into trouble when one of our substitute English teacher (when Doc Picart was on leave because of a slipped disc) got an article I wrote published in the Philippine Star sans my consent. We had a lot of crazy moments together with all our batchmates in Eliazo. Honestly, those were the best years of my life, by far. Life wasn't exactly a bed of roses. We all had our fair share of melodrama and all. But we were happy. I was happy. Today, though I seldom see Tanya and Carmi, when we do get together, it's no different than how things were in college. We never run out of things to talk about. The only thing that seems to run out on us is time.

Tanya flies home to Davao tomorrow morning at 10. I'm not sure if she'll be back beginning of November for Ken's debate thing in Ateneo. As for Carmi, I haven't seen her in over a year. The same goes for a lot of my college friends. And a lot of other people who mean anything to me. I've been so isolated from the world lately... One thing I'm thankful for though is that in spite of the very limited time I get to spend with my family and with my friends who are not in law school, nothing ever changes. We don't grow apart. We never run out of things to talk to. After years and years and years of not having seen each other, we still remain essentially the same people we were when we all met.

My first day out in a gazillion years

The other day, I set out for the distant land of Makati to spend a leisurely afternoon strolling around Rockwell with Mario and Lianne. After getting quite a shock awaking to people quarelling over the phone (Need I mention that it's extremely annoying to have one's slumber interrupted by cursing crazy people?), I decided I needed to get away from the world of perpetually warring lovers and get some fresh city air. After an oh-s0-unhurried bath (my favorite kind), with me singing to myself in the shower and all, I met up with Mario to have a quick lunch over at Jollibee before Lianne dropped by to pick us up.

We left for Rockwell sometime between 1 and 2pm. When we got there, we trooped over to the recently opened Zara where Señorita Lianne promptly went shopping. Hehe! Just kidding, Lianne. I found myself falling in love with suits and jackets and tops that went all the way down to heaven. =p Whew. Much MUCH MUCH better than Mango. For me, anyway. I find Zara a lot less pretentious. ANYWAY, after an uber long and drawn out hiatus from the cinema, I finally saw a movie: Dungeons and Dragons 2. Don't ask me how it was. I was so excited to see anything I would've been quite content watching Letters from a Killer (which, incidentally, is one of the worst movies EVER made). Mario, Lianne and I basically laughed through it all. It was hilarious in a post-final exams sort of way, which isn't saying much good about the movie. Lucky moi I wasn't quite in the mood to whine about a sucky movie, so I was smiling when we got out of Cinema 5. We walked over to Fully Booked where I again fell in love. There was a 2-volume compilation of all the Calvin and Hobbes comic strips ever made (at 7000 per), hordes of Batman comic books, an entire shelf on medieval history, and just when I thought I could not have possibly fallen more deeply in love, I chanced upon a one-volume compilation of The Chronicles of Narnia. After that, my fate was sealed. 840 for all 7 books, with all the original illustrations by Pauline Baynes. Phew! Despite the state of my finances at the moment, I could not have possibly let the chance pass me by. I was so giddy I was grinning all the way to the counter. The book didn't leave my side until the next afternoon when I got out of bed. Haaay... Kinikilig pa rin ako.

Anyhoo, we had a quick snack-slash-dinner in KFC, where Mario and I chanced upon yet another incompetent cashier (the first one was in Jollibee earlier). Quick trip to the supermarket so Mario could buy this new soap he discovered, then off to FIC to get some ice cream. And then we dropped Mario off at Jay's office. And Lianne and I got somewhat lost on the way back home. We made it through the rush hour traffic and back to my home sweet home (Loyola Heights) in about an hour. I bought my beloved new pet clothes (plastic cover, for the less inept), and promptly got started on my favorite task of dressing Aslan up. (I mean I love covering books, ayt?) All this before I had even changed out of my outside world clothes into my more comfy lounging around the condo outfit.

Ngangi and I watched a couple of soaps, then I met up with an old friend.

To be continued...

Officially on vacation =)

Hail, fire and brimstone, I'm FRRRREEEE!!! =)

First of all, YES, law school is that bad. Check my blockmates' comments to my last post. BUT they'll have to drag me out of Malcolm Hall kicking and screaming.

I submitted my last final exam around 11am today. Takehome final exam for Transpo. EXTRA LONG takehome exam, might I say. Took me all of oh, say, 10 hours to write. Roughly an hour per number, what with the thinking and hand stress involved. Gawd. But at least it's over. I'll just have to slug it out with myself until the grades are released. No security whatsoever til then.

Haaay...

In any case, I haven't gotten any sleep yet, but I'm not complaining. I slept til noon yesterday, got up to get ready to go to Coffee Bean Eastwood with Mario at 2-ish. Snagged 2 Gonuts Donuts (Pastillas de Leche and Choco-hazelnut. Yumyum! =) then headed over to our favorite caffeine-watering hole. As could have been predicted, our daily trek to Eastwood paid off yesterday. Mario and I were honored with the title Customers of the Week at Coffee Bean. Hehe! I have to go back to check if they've posted our picture already. We were both distraught with the thought of being mistaken as a couple though. Hello?!! Ano yun, lesbian action? Hehe! Mario really is my favorite guy in law school. He manages to put up with me even when I'm murderous / majorly PMS-ing, like yesterday. I managed to get zero work done in the two or three hours we were there. I basically just bored holes into my yellow pad, traipsed around the mall and people-watched. When I got home, I was so exasperated with myself I had given myself a migraine. I was literally breaking out in cold sweat, so I went straight to bed after watching the evening news and a couple of soaps to drive myself to sleep. I woke up feeling a teeny bit better around midnight at started working on my Transpo final exam. That thing is LOOOOOONG, I tell you. Roughly 20 questions. I filled up an entire blue book, both sides of all the pages (Well, almost.), and you know how small my handwriting is. By the time I finished 6 out of the 10 numbers, it was 7am. I decided to go to school early to meet up with Mario and just rush through the last 4 numbers in the lib.

So I was in school pretty early, 8am I think. The lib was basically deserted. Even the staff hadn't arrived yet. I breezed through the last 4 numbers in record time, given the number of yosi breaks I took in between paragraphs. Cut me some slack here, my hands aged 10 years overnight from writing. =p Anyhoo, I was done before lunch, so I took my time to wander around Malcolm aimlessly. Unfortunately for me, I ran into my nemesis: A.R. I am going to kill him someday, I swear to God. He makes up stories about this guy I've been hung up on FOREVER (I now call him The Protozoan. That single-celled asexual little twerp. Not very sure about my description of a protozoan here.), then when I start feeling bad, he takes them all back and makes up another story. Sometimes I just want to wring his neck out of sheer frustration.

After Oggs finally finished cramming his exam, Lianne, Chi, Oggs, Daisy, Mario and I headed off to Bento Box for a pseudo-celebration lunch. Everyone else went home after lunch. Daisy, Mario and I pretended to get some research done at the neighboring Econ lib. (I still haven't gotten the hang of saying "Econ". I'm more comfortable with "Eco"...) Mario and I made plans to go drinking but nobody else was interested so we both ended up hanging around law school for longer than we probably should have. After a bit of hesitation about where to leave our bags, we finally dumped them with Ria (and Al, Hardy, and Karra, who, incidentally were about to take their Property orals with Sir Labits. Which reminds me, he hasn't given me a grade yet...) and took a jeep to the nearest isaw place. Hello carcinogens! =p Yumyum. We did get a teeny bit of exercise walking back to Malcolm where we passed the time dreaming up obscene things to do if we could stop time. Hehe! Now THAT I can't tell. =p Jay picked us up just before it got completely dark. I didn't want to intrude on their moment, so I walked back to Prince David from Rustan's na lang.

Seems like I'm fated to be the eternal third wheel. Not that I don't like being with Mario and Jay. I love those two. It's just weird that I'm always the odd one out. Well, something like that. Kasi naman, The Protozoan is so difficult to read. Talk about mixed signals. And I'm the girl here. Allo? Anybody there? Ayayay...

So there. Lianne says Succession grades will be out tomorrow. Good grief.

The end of the longest losing battle of my life.

First of all, thank you so much to everyone who took the time to affirm my uh, talents. =p

This has been the longest semester of my entire life. By far. I'm so tired and worn out and burned out and all of that. I just hibernated for a day and it still isn't enough for me to recoup what I lost during the sem: my sanity, my peace of mind... If I could sue UP Law for moral damages, I would. Hello?!! Sleepless nights, besmirched reputation? How many hours of sleep have I lost?!!! Well, apparently, not enough. I think I'm just about to get kicked out.

This sem started out with yours truly working my ass off trying to raise funds for Winlaw. It's a thankless job, but it was my duty. I started contacting alumnae early in the summer while I was working with Picazo. After months of constantly worrying about whether or not I was going to be able to meet my target, I finally was able to smile. The barristers would have their goody bags and flowers.

And then there was September. The month when I had zero weekends and zero time to spare. Weekdays, as if they weren't hectic enough with law school, Mario and I had to huddle over preparing the goody bags and other Barops-related work. Saturdays after Tax, we had to rush over to Q.Ave. to do last-minute fruit shopping, traipse through the puddle-ey alleys of Dangwa to pick up the roses, then stay up til mid-morning on Sunday attending to deliveries and buying food and manning the HQ. I'd sleep til Sunday afternoon then study whatever I could for Monday's Nego-PIL tag team. The week would go by, same pattern. For a month. And when we breathed our last breath in Sheraton, it was time to take the finals.

Like I said, this has been the longest sem of my life. Literally and figuratively speaking. We started finals early with Nego. It's been about two weeks, and I firmly believe I've taken and failed IPL, PIL, and Tax finals. I thought I passed Nego finals, but I was wrong. JJ just emailed us our grades today, and they all suck. Nobody got higher than a 2.25, from what I gather. Professors hate our block, I swear. We all thought Nego would pull up our grades, but apparently, we were all wrong. If I failed a final exam that I thought was pretty goddamned easy compared to the other exams I took, how could I possibly pass the rest? I got a 2.5 final grade for Nego. That's all because I got a 1.5 recitation grade. I flunked both midterms and finals. Plus 5 absences. Gawd. I have no idea how I flunked. Man. This sucks.

Yesterday's Evidence moot court was humiliating. But we didn't exactly lose. Sir didn't grant relief to either party. No relief granted to our group as counsel for the plaintiff, but no relief granted either to the opposing group on their counterclaim. Oh well. In the criminal proceeding, no verdict was rendered, but thanks to the presumption of innocence, at least it was resolved. Prof. Theodore Te is one of the smartest and the most inspiring professors I've ever had. It was a pleasure being in 4 of his classes in law school. If ever I do get kicked out, at least, I'll have THAT in my pocket. It's just disheartening. This is what I've always wanted to do since I started seriously thinking about what I wanted to be, and I suck at it. Sometimes, I just want to cry, to scream at the world for being so mean to me. Why, God, why?!!

Well, there goes my sembreak. More sleepless nights to document to sue UP Law for moral damages. I'm off to take out my frustrations on the fridge. Not to eat what's in it, (which consists basically of air and water) but to clean it.

Like Nico said, the worst is yet to come. Finals season isn't over yet. There's still Transpo takehome finals and a Tax paper to contend with. By then, the grades will most probably be out. And I'll find out whether I'm still eligible for enrollment in law school. And there goes my peace of mind.

Reality does not bite. It clamps its teeth, draws and tears flesh from the bone, gnaws and crushes bone until there's nothing left but the memories of a battle long lost.

Pre-Evidence post

I'm supposed to be working on my Evidence takehome exam right now. But since I'm printing out the IPL sample final exam and emailing it to Lianne, I thought I'd sneak a post as well.

Yesterday's Nego final I took sans sleep. I spent the good part of 2 days annotating Perez's Quizzer and Reviewer on Negotiable Instruments and Related Laws. I finally gave up around 2am the morning of the exam, and began skimming and scanning through the book instead. 8am, I decided I needed breakfast if I were to survive the day so I went over to McDonald's to have pancakes. Didn't want to eat a full meal and risk throwing it all up. So after breakfast, 2 cups of coffee and a long blackout, I went to school to face the consequences of my 5-month long hiatus from substantial effort to study. JJ was, as usual, really weird. He took a picture of us while we were taking the exam. Hello?!! I don't know how I did though. It's one of those things that don't really feel like they sucked. Those things could go either of two ways: one, it really did suck, but I know so little that I've led myself to believe that it didn't, OR two, because I know the subject matter so well, it was not so sucky.

After the exam, the barkada went over to A Veneto Visayas to have lunch before getting the Evidence fact pattern and instructions for moot court, and the questions for the takehome part of the final exams. (Which, incidentally, I really have to start working on already.) Man, I hate finals! As Punch says, mas madali maging driver kesa magtake ng exam sa law school. Yeah. Anything is easier than this. But I'd much rather be taking finals than the bar. Yikes. 46 weeks to go for Mario, 98 weeks for me. Dumdeedum... And then when I got home, I put of my plan to reacquaint myself with my pillows (I miss you guys so much!) so I could tidy up the place a bit. It looked like an oversized trash can, i.e. like a guy's place. Nakakahilo. But it's nice and clean now. I rearranged my stuff and created space for next sem's books. I have to pass THIS sem first though. Next sem is already expected to be EVIL EVIL EVIL. Imagine PrIL, LocGov and Corpo in one afternoon?!! That's Ma'am Beth, DanGat (but the grapevine says he's leaving to accompany his wife abroad on a scholarship) and Danny Con! Sheeyet. Might get the returning professors pa. Waaaaah!!! This whole Malcolm experience really is like a 4-year-plus-plus-long
bad joke.

Oh, and PIL got moved to Monday. Still haven't made up my mind if that's a good thing or a bad thing... We have 5 final exams next week already. PIL Monday, Tax Tuesday, Succession Thursday, Transpo Friday. And THEN Evidence moot court Saturday afternoon. Yikers!

So the gist of this is: GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!!! Bleh! =p

Gotta go start on that final already...

2 days to go...

Man, this sucks. I've been dumbfounded all day. It's just grotesque. I know absolutely nothing. Zero. Nada. Zilch. I think a kindergarten student would more likely pass finals. Why, God, why?!! =p

Hay nako. Today was another study day. Got up at 7, left for Coffee Bean Eastwood with Mario at 8:30. Just Mario and moi. Lianne's still sick. We were there bright and early. The tables outside hadn't even been set up yet, and the morning maintenance crew was busy cleaning up. I dropped my stuff off with Mario and headed off to have breakfast with myself: my standard breakfast fare on the very few days I actually DO have breakfast - McDonald's longganisa meal and coffee. And then I found out that I didn't have cash in either of my bank accounts. No allowance yet. Tomorrow pa daw. How is a girl to survive finals? Ayayay. Well, I had enough to buy myself a pack of smokes to kill my lungs with and to pass the time during my hourly 5-minute breaks.

It's fascinating being up to actually experience the morning. I think I'll be doing this more often.

Anyway, I cut the last meeting of Tax today. Spent the day in Coffee Bean again. I finished a bit naman for Nego, but not enough. I hate finals, I swear to God. As for my daily turf patrol, nothing interesting happened. It was just your regular run-of-the-mill daily Coffee Bean week day crowd. Nobody interesting came in. Well, there WAS Snorty guy in the morning til around lunch, Chinese Oldies In Red also around the same time, Cute White Boy around 11, Blondie with her Boytoys around 5, and Squeaky Quack Girl and her Boytoy around 6. But it was basically uneventful. Boring. If Mario and I didn't have occasional blabfests, I would've died of sheer boredom.

By the way, I changed my blog's name. I just figured it's time for some change around here. Yes, I'm talking about THAT too. Aww man, talk about crap. That godforsaken idiot has to go get lost somewhere.

In any case, Mario, Marie, Daisy and I (and maybe Lianne, if she's well by tomorrow) are heading off tomorrow morning at 7 to go warm up the seats in Coffee Bean again. I'm having tea and no sympathy for the meantime.

Ack. Ack. More ack.

Griffin and Sabine

Analogous to Griffin and Sabine. One of my favorite series of all time. =) Hehe! Yauck, feeling!

Dear friendly friends, please save up for my Christmas and birthday gifts naman. Here's my list so far:

(1) Griffin and Sabine series (Nick Bantock)
(2) Chronicles of Narnia series (C.S. Lewis)
(3) Time Quartet (Madeliene L'Engle)
(4) Tintin

...this is getting long. Please just see my list of favorite books, i.e. the ones my allowance can't fathom.

(5) a new phone (Dad? Father in heaven? Helloooo? Are you there? =p)
(6) the long camel Banana Rep wallet I've been drooling over
(7) Coffee Bean certificates
(8) Estee Lauder Pleasures
(9) White Musk (Body Shop)
(10) Calgon Morning Glory

...I'm running out of cologne / perfume.

Well, so far, that's that. You could also make me get good grades, take me out shopping, or treat me out to dinner and a good movie. Basta something special. The list is not exclusive.

Sige na nga, back to the books na ulit.

Hmmm...

If you're someone I know, I think I know who you are.

Oh well.

Para dramatic?!! Huh? Hoy, hindi na uso yan. I'm blabbing like a fool while some people comment anonymously. I'm just kidding. Hehe! =) It's a free country. Anyway, at the rate I'm going, I guess it's apropriate. It's your call anyway. I'm just curious. People very seldom leave comments kasi. It's a new thing for me. I'm still just getting used to the fact that people actually read my blog. Conversations sometimes come to a dead stop for me when the conversee (new word!) mentions something I distinctly remember NOT telling him or her about. And so I ask, uh, how'd you know about that? And the conversee replies, "I read your blog, " or "Uh, Friendster?" I really should stop saying so many things here. I've been getting into trouble already. But then again, I'm used to getting into trouble because of what I write. Or say. (Bribe: I'll tell you about my college freshman year booboo in exchange for, uh, less drama. Hehe! Nah. It's fine.) I'll just pretend you're this guy Mario and I have been swooning over. Haha! Half truth spotted there. Guess which half it is.

As for my college freshman booboo, I'll write about it during my next break from studying tomorrow night. I'm cramming again, see. All the work I should have done over the past 4 months but didn't do, I'm rushing to finish now. Bad bad bad person. Well. At least I'm not evil like Mario. Friday, we were studying in Starbucks. He was reading my messages. A few seconds after he returned my phone, I got a message that was supposed to be from this guy asking me out to dinner and a movie. I completely lost it and turned to Mario astounded, "Ohmigod! You texted him! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Mario! What did you tell him?!!!" I think I got the message when Mario's evil-er than evil look turned into a wide grin and eventually into uncontrollable guffaws. I turned back to the message after that and realized that the guy it was supposed to be from SO does not text like that. I won't describe it. There are a precious few people I know who text that way (and I really appreciate that. Impressive, actually.), and I am not giving THIS one away. Mario still hasn't gotten over my reaction to this very day. (Hey, that rhymes!) Priceless daw. Bleh! =p Evil ka talaga.

Yesterday, I woke up after too much sleep and tripped on everything that was in my way the short distance from my bed to my desk. And then Mario started his text tirade telling me to rush so we could study. Hello?!! Moe and Joe! (For those who don't know, that was an allusion to our Nego midterm which involved a guy with a personality disorder, switches personalities from Moe to Joe and vice versa.) We didn't have plans kaya! But Mario is Mario. He's the cutest thing there is. Hehe! So I rushed through my bath (although nobody ever believes I sometimes rush, as the rushed version takes at least half an hour), put on my contacts, went through my post-bath lotion et.al. ceremony, (note that at this point, I still wasn't REALLY rushing) and then Mario started texting and calling like mad, so with hair dripping and all, I grabbed all the school stuff that happened to be on my desk, not even bothering to stuff them into my bag, and ran to meet them downstairs. And then we were off to Coffee Bean Eastwood.

I SO love Coffee Bean. (And Eastwood.) Quoting someone I know, it's MY turf. Hehe! Well, not really. I won't even pretend that I have even a minor claim. But Chi and I were one of the first to discover Coffee Bean Eastwood. We used to study there a lot early freshman year, when the City Walk wasn't even done yet. Starbucks was under construction, and there was dust everywhere outside. We were there so often the manager / owner knew us na, and they would turn down the airconditioning for us at our request, even if the other customers complained. Now everybody goes there na. Darn. Oh well. Goodbye secret study place. I lost Coffee Bean. Then I lost San Fran. I wonder when people are going to start studying in our tub. Hehe! Just kidding. I'm just very territorial when it comes to study places. And a lot of other things. You get the picture.

In any case, I'm officially done with my Succession digests. All 102 of them. Each painstakingly handwritten. My hands are about to fall off. God help me. I'm just taking a break before I hit the books again. Due to my previous preoccupation with Succession digests, I haven't started studying for finals yet, and I've got a large void to fill... I didn't read a substantial portion of everything I had to read. So. It's Campos and Perez tonight for Nego. Tomorrow's PIL and IPL day. Tuesday, my final run for Nego and a pseudo-review for Evidence. Wednesday, Nego. Thursday, Evidence take home written finals. Friday, PIL. Saturday, IPL. Phew! Then a couple of days off before Succession Thursday, Transpo Friday and Evidence moot court Saturday. Ayayay.

I think I'm degenerating into an inarticulate blob. I can't even write anymore, and I've always loved writing. I was going over my blog entries a few minutes earlier, and I couldn't help but cringe at how crass and unpolished everything is. It's like reading the diary entries of a functionally literate 3-year-old. Well, except for the melodrama. Maybe I used up all my energy early on and now I'm running the prime of my life on the dregs of my so-called intelligence. I did excellent in grade school and high school. Way above average. I was grade school valedictorian, and I graduated 3rd in my high school class. Would've graduated with honors if I hadn't had a Technical Drawing disaster the second quarter of my junior year. College, I did okay. I think a 3.12's not bad, given the fact that I almost never studied. I used to wake up 2 hours befroe finals to cram and still get good grades. Enough to impress my English professors and those people whose opinions mattered to me. But law school, ohmigod. It's like an eternity of marvelling at the guillotine that's sure to sever my head in the end. I don't know if I'm just not exerting myself enough (which is probably the case) or if I'm just not meant for this (which is also highly probable and highly possible). I'm confussed. (That's a word I invented a few months ago, pronounced /con-fust'/, meaning a degree of confusion that's almost incomprehensible.) I did fine initially. And then there was Barry. And it was all downhill from there.

Anyway, I gotta go study. Please leave a comment about WON (for the non-law people, that's short for whether or not) I write like shit. I need affirmation here, people! And puhleeease leave your names. =p (No pressure. Haha!)