Change and all that comes with it.

It's fascinating how some things are bound to change

no matter how much one would have wanted to believe they never would...

I've been in touch with my ex for a couple of weeks now. We spent a good 2+++ years together from my junior year in college to early freshman year of law school. We had a brief interlude of sorts early sophomore year and early junior year. But now it's really over, and I know that for a fact. Tanya and I were just talking about this earlier. When L.A. and I were together, I was into the idealistic notion of "my first and my only". As things turned out, that wasn't exactly how fate had set my life out to be. After a river of tears and a dozen sleepless nights, we broke up going into my first final exam season in law school. At that time, I was admittedly a walking corpse. I was just numb. I couldn't study, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. And it didn't help that he was basically my neighbor, that I see his family around the area basically everyday, and that we have so many friends in common, most of whom took my side, and still maintain it was his fault why things turned sour. We didn't talk for about a year after that. I never saw him too.

A year after that, we started talking again. It all started when I was hanging out in SBC with Bibay and Steph. A huge manatee (Teeheehee! Just kidding.) appeared by my side and said hi. When I looked up, it was him. I didn't realize I had just borrowed a chair from his brother, who had just recently come home from Canada, and whom I had previously seen only in photographs. Apparently, he was upstairs in the smoking area when we had checked if there were seats available. I did think to myself that he looked familiar, but by then, I'd forgotten what he looked like, so I wasn't altogether sure if it was him. So there. We met by accident in SBC a couple of times after that. We started going out regularly. He started inviting me to Sunday lunch and other family events, friends' birthdays... You get the idea. But then I figured the whole friend thing wasn't going to work out. I wanted much more. I wanted to get back what we had before. But that was impossible at that point. I broke it off a few weeks into the second sem.

Third year, we started chatting. I was wary of the whole melodrama thing at this point, but as it turns out, by this time, I was over the whole thing. I had gotten my c-l-o-s-u-r-e. And I think you guys know why. It's complicated, but yeah, that's it. So now, L.A. and I talk or text occasionally, have a beer, stuff like that. But as for strings formerly attached, I think they're all gone. I still care as I would for any of my friends, but at this point, it's all just, well, water under the bridge, so to speak.

...and how other things will always remain unwavering
in spite of how much time has passed.

I spent the latter part of the afternoon in Galleria today. I managed to drag myself out of bed today after sleeping around 5 or 6 in the morning already. I read the first few chapters of my new pet, see. Anyway, I got myself ready for my Galleria trip and was on my way. I remembered I had to get my eyes checked, so I walked into the first optical shop I saw. But good Lord in heaven, when I saw their sink, I said to myself, I am not letting any of these people anywhere near my eyes. Sarabia Optical in Galleria is dingy, if I may say so. The stainless sink is encrusted with the residue from a hundred handwashes. They use a slimy pink bar of Palmolive soap to wash their hands, and use a damp handtowel to dry them. The "doctor" told me I had to take off my contacts for half an hour before I could get my eyes checked, so I took 'em off and sat there blind, waiting for the sky to fall down on me. After 15 minutes and having finished off the last few pesos of my credits texting Tanya, A.R. and Franco, I decided to go over to Sabater Pascual, where I've been getting my eyes checked for the past 4 years. I left my contacts where they lay, and decided not to risk getting some dreaded eye infection from the yucky place.

I managed to find my customary eyecare shop with not much trouble, and blew a little less than 2000 on contacts and the downpayment on a new pair of glasses, which I'm picking up in a month, when I get back to the real world. Assuming I'm allowed to enroll.

I then went up to 806 to visit Tanya, one of my college roommates. Tanya's family is from Davao, and I only get to see her the once or twice she comes to Manila on business trips. I miss her and Carmi... The four of us (plus Chi) spent a good four years together (2 and a half in Carmi's case) in college. They saw me passed out drunk and barfing all over the bathroom floor of Tanya's Makati condo in our junior year after well, the first breakup. They were with me when I got the scare of my college life in my freshman year when I got into trouble when one of our substitute English teacher (when Doc Picart was on leave because of a slipped disc) got an article I wrote published in the Philippine Star sans my consent. We had a lot of crazy moments together with all our batchmates in Eliazo. Honestly, those were the best years of my life, by far. Life wasn't exactly a bed of roses. We all had our fair share of melodrama and all. But we were happy. I was happy. Today, though I seldom see Tanya and Carmi, when we do get together, it's no different than how things were in college. We never run out of things to talk about. The only thing that seems to run out on us is time.

Tanya flies home to Davao tomorrow morning at 10. I'm not sure if she'll be back beginning of November for Ken's debate thing in Ateneo. As for Carmi, I haven't seen her in over a year. The same goes for a lot of my college friends. And a lot of other people who mean anything to me. I've been so isolated from the world lately... One thing I'm thankful for though is that in spite of the very limited time I get to spend with my family and with my friends who are not in law school, nothing ever changes. We don't grow apart. We never run out of things to talk to. After years and years and years of not having seen each other, we still remain essentially the same people we were when we all met.