Stupid questions

I just dug up this old email from college:

10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations and some equally stupid answers:(well,actually,they're more of "smart" comebacks...)

1. At the movies when you meet acquaintances/friends

Stupid Question: Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer: Well, it's so hot, there were no cool cabs so I thought I'd watch some advertisements in the cool comfort of the theatre.

2. In the bus: A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet

Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia...why don't you try again or should I try this time.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people asks

Stupid Question: Why, Why, why him, of all the people.
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter

Stupid Question: Is the "blah blah blah" dish good
Answer: No, its teribble and made of adulterated cement.We occasionally also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together. When some distant aunt meets you after years

Stupid Question: Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask

Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer: No, he's a miserable wife-beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call

Stupid Question: Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer: No. I was playing cricket for India at Sharjah and just when you called Salim Malik was betting with me that Pakistan would win. What do you think?

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair

Stupid Question: Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer: No, its Autumn, and I'm shedding......

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth

Stupid Question: Tell me if it hurts?
Answer: And while I'm telling you, you tell me if I bite.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks

Stupid Question: Oh, so you smoke
Answer: No, it's a miracle .... it was chalk and now it's in flames!!!