I just put my affairs in order. =p I arranged my digests, shoes, cases, laundry, bed, books, etc. Not that they needed arranging. More like re-arranging. For a change.
So anyway…
Monday started out pretty dull. We didn’t have Credit. I got a text Sunday night that Buddy had a hearing in Bulacan or wherever. So I woke up at 11 to get ready for CivPro and left at 12:30 after a LOOOOONG shower. I got to school a bit before 1. Note that class was supposed to begin at 12, but please bear in mind that Sir Te is even more prone to tardiness than I am, which is to say that he’s almost always late. As for me, I just really have trouble waking up for class. Well, actually, it’s more like a getting-out-of-bed crisis. My love affair with my pillows and my bed seems to be getting more serious every sem… Seriously. Besides, my day begins at 12 or 1 and ends at 5, i.e. 12 or 1pm and 5am respectively. So back to my story… Sir Te was predictably late, and class started at 1:30 so I amused myself with the Cosmo March edition Bheng gave me. Lucky me we got dismissed early, i.e. on time, so I didn’t have to explain to Ma’am Daway that I’d come from CivPro. As for Labor, well, let’s just say that the doodles in my reviewer speak louder than words. I swear, that class will be the death of me. And my reviewer cannot be lent out to anyone for fear of retaliation from the victims of my boredom-incited wrath. I was so happy when class finally ended. I had a quick snack before heading to the lib to get copies of the cases I couldn’t find in Alan’s pile. I wasn’t quite willing to go home yet, i.e. tinatamad akong mag-commute (Understandably so, given the inconvenience.), so I stayed in the lib a bit longer than I usually do. Now in the midst of this tirade, I’ll segue to a section on commuting and on the lib…
First things first. For some reason I can’t completely comprehend, I’ve developed a dislike for commuting. I never LOVED it, mind you (I just wanted to use that phrase. Mind you. It’s so cute. Hehe!), but I used to have a fairly functional relationship with public transportation. I’ve never owned a car (And at the rate I’m going, it’s going to be a LOOOOOONG time before I get to own one. I do have a deal with my dad, but I don’t want to think about it until everything’s ready.), and since I’ve been dorming/renting an apartment for the past 6 years, duh?!! How else am I supposed to travel? Especially now that I’m single and no longer have a boyfriend to bully. (Haha!) He volunteered naman! I WAS a good girlfriend, although I did have my moments of insanity, i.e. PMS-ing really bad, picking fights when we hadn’t fought for a while---which really bothered me. Blame it on my fear of stagnation… So anyway, as I was saying… Let me just modify the topic sentence of this particular paragraph. The reasons I formerly thought I couldn’t comprehend are (1) I haven’t been commuting (besides taking a cab) much lately, as my life has really been restricted to the Quezon City area, and I’ve been hitching rides with friends, (2) The scorching summer heat has started, and I hate heat, (3) I was stressing over the Winlaw Ball the last time I really commuted. So there.
Second point. As to the lib, I’ve never been comfortable there for some reason. It’s one place where I can’t seem to get any serious studying done. I can concentrate better amidst the Starbucks/SBC/Mocha Blends/San Fran/McCafe/McDonald’s buzz. Unlike Alan who seems to have acquired official title and permanent residence at this out-of-the way first floor table, and Mario who has a permanent seat at the third table from the door, also at the first floor. I liked the Ateneo lib when I was in college though. I don’t know. Law school changed a lot of things.
Back to my narrative… By the time I kinda wanted to go home already, it was dark outside and my fear of walking around UP at night had set in, so I made arrangements to hitch a ride home with CJ at 7. And so I quit reading for Admin and went to Ate Evelyn’s =p to check my mail. Thus my last post. Rich, Marie, Mitch and I hitched with CJ. I got home sometime around the middle of TV Patrol, spent a few moments rekindling my romance with my bed then had dinner with Lorraine in Chiggy’s. Then I got a text from Leo that they were studying in SBC. I WAS planning to study out anyway, and I get really miserable studying---especially studying out---alone (I feel like I’m the only one suffering, and everyone else is just hanging out.), so I decided to join their “study group”. Leo and J.P were studying for Corpo finals, so I was psyching myself to behave and not to bother anyone. But lo and behold, someone else was doing the bothering---Mr. Enerio, that suicidal maniac of a driver. After an hour and a half of talk and the first few Admin cases, we finally gave up studying and headed over to Troy’s for champagne. Yuck, cultured worms ba?!! Hehe! As it turned out, there was just one bottle of champagne for the 5 of us. Bitin. So after watching Sex and the City and that Meatloaf video (I would do anything for love), we decided to have a couple of beers over at Meatshop. Incidentally, that Meatloaf song has been playing in my head all day. So anyway, we ended up in Cantina instead of Meatshop. And then all hell broke loose. Just kidding. What I meant was “and then I saw my ex.”
Pertinent backtrack fact: Lately, I’ve been seeing things, by which I mean I’ve been saying hi to people I thought I knew but up close turned out NOT to be the ones I know, just look-alikes. It’s embarrassing, I tell you. ‘Happened like five times last week.
…So when I was standing with JP and Leo looking for a table (A.R. was changing in the car. He just came from the gym daw kasi, and, well, go figure what he was wearing. Troy was talking to someone on the phone.), and I saw two guys who were waving at me, I stared for a long time trying to figure out who they were. I told Leo and J.P., I think nandiyan ex ko but I’m not sure, di ko na maalala face niya… I know, I’m so mean, but really, I honestly couldn’t remember what he looked like. Which is weird, because I just saw him a few days after my birthday when he dropped by to give me my pecan pie birthday present. So I stared and eventually figured out that the two guys were L.A. (my ex) and Robbie (a common friend of ours) and waved back. Really small wave, just to be safe. I mean, if it wasn’t them, then I’d pretend I was just stretching my arm. =p Well, we finally got a table, and my ex came over to say hi and drone on about the fight thing they staged at his house Saturday night. I really didn’t want to hear about it, and according to JP, I seemed really disinterested and started looking for other people to say hi to. Haha! Oh well. I didn’t realize I did that. Lenny was also there with the T.A. people. So we all sat down and had a couple of beers, I introduced my ex to Leo et.al., blah blah, then L.A. and Robbie left, Kri joined us later on when Bam et.al. went home.
By the end of our drinking session, I was really tipsy. I wanted to get my act together before I went home so I went with Troy and Leo to eat. Well, THEY ate. I just sat quietly on the little stool pondering on blah blah blah blah blah. I got home around 3, and predictably, Chi gave me another long sermon on the mount. I swear, she’s turning into an instant sermon machine. But she means well, and I’m used to her extra long tirades when it comes to anything even remotely concerning my ex anyway. And that was Monday.
Tuesday came and went in a flash. Well, not really. I woke up at 11 to get ready for class, but at the last minute decided to cut Admin. See, I got out of the shower at 12:30, and class was supposed to begin at 12:30. BUT, like most professors, Carlots is consistently 30 minutes late, and insists that the classroom time is wrong, so I had half an hour of leeway. And then I decided to dry my hair. And that was the end of my attempt to go to Admin class. I just went to the lib to study. I was surprisingly productive, actually. Thanks for bullying me, Mario! =) Hehe! I love that guy. He’s the sweetest. AND he has the second-nicest ass in law school. Anyhoo, I’m done studying for Admin. Again, thanks to Mario. And as a reward, we went to the shopping center to eat at Rodic’s and had ice cream on the way back to Malcolm. Yum yum! I can’t remember the last time I ate there. Oh, and I finally replenished my Kleenex supply! =)
As always, Tuesday was relatively uneventful. I was in school the whole day but didn’t go to class. I cut Admin, and although I intended to go to Property, Labits didn’t show up, and by 7:30 (and the class was supposed to be from 6 to 8), we all decided to forego the whole formality. By the way, Portia was showing Eurotrip earlier. Funny movie. It was just weird seeing it in school. And so I hitched a ride home with Punch and Chi and joined Leo and JP in Mocha Blends. Again, I didn’t talk unless they talked to me. See, I’m a good study buddy. I distract myself, not other people. Hehe! We called it a night around 11. I again renewed my vows with my bed watching the evening news then put my affairs in order, amused myself with the new programs I unearthed a few days ago, and now this. So there.
Tentative plans for the weekend: (1) Puerto Galera with Ate Shirley, and/or (2) Tagaytay. =) Emphasis on TENTATIVE. (Underlined, italicized and in bold letters) I hope at least one pushes through.
ON OTHER MATTERS…
FIRST. Why do I always get into trouble because of stuff I write? I just found out that at least two people were offended by one of my comments. Oh well. Whatever. I say what I mean, and if people don’t like it, fine. It’s a free country.
SECOND. I’m still on an unnaturally natural high. It’s so weird. Kinikilig ako sa weather kanina…
THIRD.
WARNING: The following paragraphs contain really serious personal stuff.
There are some people that make such an impact on other people’s lives that they don’t have to stay long to make things happen.
My mom would be turning 50 on the 28th if she were alive. I miss her. I wonder sometimes how life would be if things had turned out differently. It’s been 12 years since she died, and I’ve lived more than half my life without her, but Mommy will always be Mommy. It’s at this age that we’re supposed to be buddies, and it’s sad that I never got the chance to sit down with her and talk to her when I was growing up. I lost her a few days before I turned 10, and I was hardly what you’d call mature. I guess I’m just lucky I’m a self-raising child (Just add hot water.). I seem to have turned out pretty well… I mean, I’ve always been the responsible one. Really. I’m not kidding. I never gave my dad any problems. Well, nothing major, anyway. Just a few minor tiffs. I’m still single, much to my dad’s relief. I don’t have any kids, illegitimate, legitimated or legitimate. I’ve never done drugs. I drink and I smoke, but that’s it. My dad doesn’t know that I smoke though. He gave me a REALLLLY long lecture when I told him that I had TRIED smoking. So anyway.
It’s just that I’m 22, and I need her, but I know it’s hopeless. There are so many things I wish I’d said, or I wish I’d done for her, or I wish we’d done together. She never saw me graduate, except from kindergarten, which doesn’t really count. I never got to go home at the end of the sem and show her my grades. We never got to go shopping or have coffee together.
It still pains me to remember that morning when I woke up and she was gone. It’s just one of those days I’d much rather forget. From that point on, life was never be the same. From that point on, I was no longer a child.
I’m just really lucky that although my mom didn’t stay very long, her time with us was well-spent. The memories she left us will last me a lifetime and more. I know my mom was no saint, but everyone loved her. I loved her. And I still do. The less than ten years I had with her made me.
Well, this is how it is, and nothing and nobody can change how things are. I’m happy with where I am and with who I am now. I think. But sometimes, I can’t help but wonder how it would be if I could call her up at the end of the day.
Well, it’s 5am. And so my day ends.
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