This week has been so bad I could cry. It started with me working til dawn on out part of the Transpo midterm paper which was due Wednesday and it was all downhill from there. Went through all the hassle of opening a bank account, withdrawals, solicitation and shit. And I think I just lost a friend. I hope we're able to patch things up eventually, but seeing as we're both so preoccupied with our separate lives and super ma-pride, I don't think it's going to happen. I'm not going to apologize either. Kainis ha. Feeling! My God! As if naman! Mukha naman siyang ipis! Termite! Lowlife pile of poop! &(#&$&(#$^*&^$!!! Ewww!!! My fate seems to be stuck in an uber deep trough with no hope of ever climbing up. Darn. I never see him na nga, the only time I see him pa, nag-away pa kami. Shit talaga. Again, it's Murphy's Law gone wild. Anything that could have possibly gone wrong this week did go wrong, and in the worst possible ways. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. Did I mention I hate it?
Wednesday, I had to cram big time for Nego and cut PIL for like the hundredth time because I hadn't read even a word of the readings. Well, that's IF the titles don't count.
Thursday, for the hundred millionth time, I found myself sleeping through class. I even tried to go to class though late but I chickened out at the last moment and ended up cursing myself. I went to hang out in the Winlaw room and found Mario there sleeping. When C.J. dropped by, I left my stuff with her and trudged over to the ledge near the Law Center where I always smoke. As my luck had it, there was an uber territorial cat there and he/she/it was bitching big time. I didn't want to assert my superior right over the space at the risk of having to get rabies shots like Al did in college, so I relinquished the space to the bitching cat and sat down on the steps alone. Again, just my luck, yet another professor, in the tradition of JJ Disini, Carlota, et.al. caught me smoking. I ended up dropping my cigarette like a hot potato when I saw him, and only later realized that my pack of Marlboro Menthols was right smack in the middle of his line of vision. Goddamn. I lit another one and began amusing myself with the supposed faculty statement re: GMA and the political crisis bonanza. Troy came along with the news that he just dropped his Foreign Investments class with Leonen. We went back to the Winlaw room where I isolated myself in one corner of the couch to engage in some self-torture. I swear to God, I could almost knock myself out! I have a problem na talaga. I have the worst sleeping habits, if any at all.
Around 12, Lianne drove me over to the Bahay ng Alumni where I opened an account for Winlaw. Oggs, Lianne, Chi, Daisy and I were supposed to have lunch over at Heaven and Eggs Timog, but the bank thing took so long I decided not to go anymore. I was hungry and tired and irritated with the world. I was broke as usual, but faced with the choices of (1) going back to school to eat cold oily food in the caf, or (2) have a leisurely lunch by myself in Chocolate Kiss, I opted for the latter. To hell with my budget. As it happened, there weren't so many people, as it was 2 o'clock or so in the afternoon. So there I was sitting alone at a table, having my puttanesca. Towards the end of my meal, I invited one of my college friends over but he was in class and couldn't go. (He texted around 2am though. I think he wanted to have a beer or something, but I was fast asleep and could not have possibly gone.) After dessert, (And yes, I had dessert. I wanted to be happy. And Devil's Food Cake makes me happy. So I had Devil's Food Cake. I don't know it the fact that I like Devil's Food Cake is any indication of my predisposition towards being evil.) I got the bill and decided to walk back to Malcolm to burn off at least a small portion of what I had previously ingested. I didn't know it was so far. I again went back to the Winlaw room and preoccupied myself with thoughts of self-destruction. Well, not exactly, I was just mad at the world.
Anyway, Sir Te gave us a free cut for Evidence so I hung out with C.J., Marie, Cherry, Mario (and later on, Lenny, one of the Winlaw apps from 1D, and Dionne dropped by) til we had to go to Succession. And THAT class took all of 15 minutes.
I went home and fixed my stuff as I always do, and ended up spending a good 320 getting my laundry done. I swear, I'm the brokest of the broke right now. I watched tv and fell asleep in the middle of the evening news. When I woke up, it was 4:30am, so I went back to sleep. My alarm went off at 7:30, but instead of getting out of bed and getting ready for class like a good student should have, I went back to sleep, and by the time I regained consciousness, it was 10am. Let me just point out here that I was supposed to have PIL 9-12 today, and if you've been paying attention, that's the class I've cut a million times. So you can imaging how sucky I felt when I checked for the time on my ancient phone. I still went to class though. REALLY LATE. And then it was off to lunch with the barkada in A Veneto. I know for a fact that I seriously feel bad because I wasn't in the mood to eat. Everything tasted like what old socks and crumbly rubber must taste like in theory. Nico, Oggs and Chi went home, while the rest of us decided to go to Transpo.
And then my life turned into living hell. I went to the bank to withdraw cash for this weekend's Winlaw BarOps, but as it turned out, Cherry had signed the wrong blank on the slip. It was 1:45. I had class 2-4. The bank closes at 4. Cherry was at work and couldn't leave til 4. I was down to my last 2 texts, and my phone was dying. AND I had no idea where Cherry's office was or how to get there. I got in touch with Cherry while I was pacing back and forth across the hall, and ended up taking the wrong jeep to Quezon Hall. This I realized when the jeep turned into some unknown street which did NOT lead to that naked statue of an exhibitionist. I got off, took another jeep which this time dropped me off a short distance away from my target destination. I found Cherry's office, got the new withdrawal slips signed, then tried to figure out a way to get to the bank then back to Malcolm. It was 2:30. With no cabs or jeeps or whatever in sight, I was about to panic when I decided to ask these 2 lovers for directions. I didn't completely understand what they were saying, as they were talking in this weird species of Tagalog which only what Mel calls "kanto boys" use. I got the gist of it (right, kinda left, cross the street) though. Why do people find it so difficult to give directions? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to say walk to the first corner, turn right, walk south and cross the street to the Bahay ng Alumni. Duh?!!
Anyway, I felt like I was about to cry while I was walking to the bank. It was hot, I was getting all sticky and sweaty. My hair was all over the place, and I didn't have a comb or tissue or alcohol, hand sanitizer, cologne, an umbrella, an extra shirt, or ANYTHING. All I had with me were my wallet, a bank passbook, enough money for fare, and blood, sweat and tears. I was tired and frustrated and mad and irritated. I had just had a really bad tiff with a guy friend I had previously missed to tears and then when I finally met up, we ended up fighting like we never had. =-( I had just gotten lost and had to walk along these roads I knew not... I could have died there and that would have been a good thing.
I finally got to the bank, withdrew what we needed, and walked back to Malcolm. I figured, since I'm already sweating like there's no tomorrow, lubusin ko na. Die die die. And then when I got to the Law Center, this BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL ant bit my arm and it hurt like hell! Don't know where it came from either. And the welt was getting bigger too. I fixed myself up a little then went to class. A nonexistent class. My blockmates were still there waiting for Avila but he didn't show. So we, well, most of us, went home. And now I'm ranting here so I don't end up committing mass murder.
Like I said, it's been one hell of a week, and it's over yet. Judging from how it's been the past few days, I'd say I should kill myself now and spare myself the trouble.
My last thoughts...
(1) Winlaw is killing me.
(2) I feel so fucking bad.
(3) I need a beer and a good long smoke.
(4) Shit, BarOps na bukas.
(5) I'm still not going to apologize.
