Okay. Turns out last weekend was completely utterly fucked up time. Arggh. I just can't stand myself right now. It's official. I'm the worst person I've ever had the worst luck to come across. Without going into excruciatingly yucky detail, to summarize my weekend, BUMMER. I'm so bad. I really can't stand myself. Honest, I'm by far the worst person to walk the planet. If only I could just crawl under a rock or a huge fungus-infested boulder somewhere and die of some dreaded infectious and terribly lethal disease, I'd gladly accept. I'd pay you to kill me. Stick a gun in my face and blow my brains out. Just make it painless. Please. Or maybe not. I deserve it. I'm just utterly and completely despicable. God!
Anyway, minus the part I just want to get hypnotized to forget about, which for decency's sake, I won't even attempt to mention or to allude to during the entirety of this entry, I spent the weekend bumming around the condo watching movies: Life is Beautiful, Love Actually, Laws of Attraction, Shrek 2 and The Insider. I won't even pretend to be even half as much of a movie guru as some people I know. The only conclusion I got out of the whole weekend is, as the song goes, "I need love, the kind that makes you wanna live, the kind that makes you wanna breathe, the kind that makes the world go round." I miss having someone to hold and to hug, to be held and to be hugged by, to text with or talk to on the phone, to laugh with (or at), to just sit with when both of us have absolutely no idea what to do, you know, someone to love and be loved by. It's not that I miss my ex or whatever. That's so over. I'm so over the whole thing. And it's not about anyone in particular. Well, there IS this one new guy, but that's completely out of the picture. I think the odds of the two of us getting together are even less than the odds that I'll graduate summa cum laude from law school. I swear, if this new guy even asks me out, I'll become a devout Catholic. Oh well... So anyway, there. I don't know. Maybe it's Valentine's Day blues. Or Singles' Awareness Day, as it's more popularly known. And my 22nd birthday's coming up. Another one I'm spending alone... No one's going to show up at my doorstep with flowers, or take me out to a nice quiet dinner. Or make me dinner. Or even just go to the mall with me to watch a movie. I mean, yeah, I have fun with my friends naman, and I couldn't ask for a better or rowdier bunch of brats (Hehe!) but it's just different, not better, just different, to have someone special there. Sigh!
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