Yes, I'm officially a reformed person. I spent the entire weekend, I'm not kidding, in the condo. BUT, I stress, I wasn't THAT productive. Saturday afternoon after Credit class, I went straight home, took a shower then slept til kingdom come. I just made my digest, played Sinatra the whole night and tried to organize and reorganize my stuff, which isn't really all that hard, since I'm obsessive-compulsive, and in MY world, there's always a time and a place for everything, and deviation isn't really all that common except during those very few instances when I get bored and set a new routine or order for my life or my stuff.
So anyway, my life plan right now is to clean up my act and get rid of all excess baggage, emotional, physical (harhar!), and whatever else there is. I'm going to be living on bare necessities, financially and all else, literally and figuratively speaking. I figure I've been living a FAR too complicated life and a FAR too muddled up schedule. I just want to clean everything up, have clean defined lines and boundaries, and have those in mind whatever I do. I just figured you know, I don't owe the world anything, and the world doesn't owe me anything. No need for melodrama here. Whatever goes. Whenever. Wherever. Maybe spontaneity is the key to the new me, to a happier, simpler life.
Oh yeah, I saw Ocean's Twelve with Lorraine last night. I ran into Troy in Gateway too. He was with his brother Travis, his mom and his brother's girlfriend, I think... Anyway, it was nice seeing him again. Last time I saw him was right around L.A.'s birthday last year, if I remember things right... Which brings me to the thought of MY BIRTHDAY... Man, I'm turning 22!!! Old. Ancient. History. Good Lord. And I haven't done anything with my life yet. I know, I technically still AM in school, and there isn't much room to move about in. It's just weird that at almost-22 I'm still financially dependent on my dad. Not that I'm complaining. I mean, I like the idea, but I detest the hassle and responsibility of living alone. I want to be able to get my own car, my own apartment, even if just in some hole-in-the-wall place like that hellhole we used to live in behind Pizza Hut. I want to be able to drive around town at 2am and not give a damn. And yeah, I want to be able to drive to SOMEONE's place, disturb his peace of mind, give him a piece of mine, and watch the sunrise together. I was just talking with Sands about the last episode of Sex and the City. I haven't seen it, but from what I heard, I love Carrie and Big's story the best. It's not the sickeningly sweet kinda love, whatever that is. (NOTE: I've been having issues about the word lately. I've finally come to terms with the fact that I basically have NO IDEA what it is. So I'd rather not use it. Let me just occasionally substitute it with a more concrete term like "care" or "sympathy" or "empathy" or "concern".) It's real, it's dysfunctional, but it works. It's not the kind to swoon over or to get swept up to the high heavens with. It's the day-to-day kind of relationship that sends chills down one's spine then breaks it in half the next split-second. Yes, obviously, I'm a masochist. After all these years, I've also come to terms with that. Ask Nico and Sands about it. It's true.
So anyway, I just wanted to rant.
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